Hi my name is Sue, in the past 18 months I’ve lost a close uncle, a brother in law to MND, my mom died of cancer and a week after My mom died My brother died in same hospice from cancer also. Myself and My husband moved in with my dad to care for him with my grandson who lives with us and has moderate learning difficulties. My dad died September 2021. I’m lost. Feel like I’m totally losing my mind. No motivation. Just feel numb. My husband has gone onto dialysis as his kidneys have failed. Feel like I can’t take anymore.
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Hello Sue ,
What an awful time you have had over the past 18 months , no wonder you feel like you can’t take anymore . But you are still here so you are stronger than you realise . Is there any more family or friends you can reach out to ? Please keep posting on here , always someone around who is happy to chat and offer advice . Take care.
Love Angie xx
Sue
I am so sorry for all your loss
My life was so full and happy 3 years ago
Then one thing after another I loss my dog who was my baby my loving husband of 25 years I found him at the bottom of our stairs
finally my beautiful mum-walked into an ambulance never to return
I never thought I could cope
But I did
I had to
Nobody can sort out anything phones call have to be made funerals have to be organised
even when you just want to curl up in a ball and die yourself
But your body does know how to protect you
I have never been able to grieve over my mum
It will happen one day though !!
I am angry though why would GOD take two loving kind people
I do believe this is hell the suffering that so many people are going through every single day
If you can try and go out for a walk even for 10 minutes just being outside
That might give you some rest bite time for you and your thoughts
I have started taken vitamin D TABLET to try and help me through the winter months
What you are feeling is normal
I wish your husband all the best with his treatment
You are a fighter Sue
Sending my love
Xx
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Hi all, I’m really struggling today, it’s been 12 weeks since I lost my wife, and today I somebody wished me a happy new year, with that I burst into tears and replied what have I got to look forward to another year without Susan, I’m sitting at home now sorting out old papers and feeling sorry formyself
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I feel your pain David because I cry every day and it’s been almost a year since my Tracy passed away silly simple things make me cry mostly memories Christmas and new year was hard being my first alone and smiling through the pain
The hardest thing is when you get asked “how you doing “ what do you say ? Yer I’m fine but inside your not , broken, but easier to say I’m ok but inside your holding back tears
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I feel your pain. I cry every day since my husband died. I feel numb. I wander round in a daze most of the time and find it difficult to perform the simplest of tasks. I keep thinking I will sort out my husbands paperwork but when I walk into the room I cry. I have got as far as ordering boxes to put it in. We need to go at our own pace and not let anyone push us until we are ready. Life is so difficult since losing our soul mates. I haven’t been able to go out much but I walked around the local park for ten minutes to put me in touch with the world. It felt so strange that life is carrying on and my husband has gone. I came home and cried. Sending hugs x
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You have put into words just how I feel,I’m finding it hard to leave the house I’m like a different person than I was when my husband was here,lost my confidence,anxious,still can’t believe he’s not coming back
Don’t know how we are supposed to carry on,the grief is to painful
Take care
Christine x
Thank you for your reply. I’m just struggling to believe they’ve all gone. Then sometimes reality hits and it hurts. I’m so glad you can share the courage you have manage to find in similar horrible circumstances. Some say it’s the price of love. And we must be grateful for that, but we can’t help feeling the way we do when we miss though, strong bonds, and the love we had. Take care x and thank you
Hi I’m Andy, and lost my wife 1st November last year, very suddenly due to covid. I was admitted to mental health hospital, feeling that i just didn’t want to waup tomorrow i felt after 6 weeks i was ready to be discharged. It’s been absolutes hell being home. Carol is everywhere, i can’t sleep, eat look everywhere for clothes that i hope i send a smell of hr perfume. Today had succh a bad day. I really wanted to to give in. Brother contacted me, where i broke down and told him how iewad feeling. So suicidal thoughts. CMHT phoned me, and calmed me down a bit.taking 37 tablets a day, . I still miss Carol so so much 
and still feel like giving up. I dont know if posting this will work and show up. Hoping for some kind of mental healthhelth. But still feel like throwing in the towel. Sorry if this is useless and idiot. Love my wife so much i want tbe with her. Sorry for ranting o
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Hi @CAROLANDY3 - welcome to the community.
Thank you for opening up and bravely sharing some of your story here. I’m so sorry about your Wife. It sounds as though things are really hard at the moment - I want you to know that you are not alone.
I am going to follow-up with an email with some details of support services which you might find helpful so please do look out for that.
Take care of yourself,
Megan
Hello my name is Tina, its my late husbands birthday today we were married for 44 years i miss him so much it hurts very day, the fun the giggles i miss so much.
It’s taken me three years to scatter his ashes but i felt today was right i wont say where but it was somewhere special to us, i also put some in a rose i bought called forever together in our garden. He will always be in my heart i just wish i could have a cuddle.
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Hi Andy I felt exactly the same I lost my wife almost 12 months ago I spent 8 weeks in hospital with a breakdown after taking 2 overdoses second waking up in hospital I didn’t want to be here anymore I just wanted it to end and be with my princess I felt so lost alone confused to point I lost 4 stone in weight and couldn’t see no way forward I had counselling in hospital and after I came home if like me I cry every day still but I’m still here eventually I found it easier to talk about my feelings and at same time try to move on but I still have bad days hardest was when asked’how are you’ I just wanted to cry there and then
I’ve sat by Tracy’s grave hours on end telling her how much I miss her and love her still only advice I could give is don’t be alone and talk often
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Hiya sue grieve destroys you lost my husband 13month ago with cancer good days more bad days lv annie x
Today’s been a hard day. Song came on radio in car, Ed Sheeran, wishing Heaven had visiting hours. That was it, complete emotional breakdown. Missing my mom today, so much, just needed to talk to her. Just can’t imagine, ever feeling happy again, Husband tired and sleeping with his ckd. Just feel lonely all of the time.
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Sue I’m so very sorry all I can say is take each at the time lv annie x
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Steve I understand what your going through it’s 14month for my husband talk to him all the time you take care of yourself lv annie x
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Hiya Christine my confidence has gone I work my self up to get out door and don’t go out much it’s hard I was married 44years to a true gentleman just like your husband we miss them and always will lv annie x
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Hi Annie
I feel so anxious every morning nothing to look forward to anymore dread every day,its been 17 weeks since Steve passed away feel like I’m living in a nightmare
It was our 52 anniversary yesterday first on my own I am really struggling he is in my thoughts every minute miss him so much
Take care
Christine x
I had a bad day yesterday. I cried all day. Had counselling in afternoon I miss my husband everyday and I don’t know how to move forward. I walk the dog each morning on the park and wonder what I’m going to do with the rest of the day. My sister said some people have children and have to work and look after them they have no choice. She says I have to start getting back into life but I find it so hard
Christine my life is like ground hog day everyday the same I hate mornings I was married 44years together 46 years and everything I do is a effort you take care lv annie x
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