My husband passed 13 months ago from cancer. Now I live alone. I have underlying health issues which basically means that for the last 2 years ( first year with my husband) and last year on my own I have ‘shielded’. All health professionals have communicated with me by phone or Zoom and though I have been referred for bereavement counselling nothing has happened because of the ways things are at the minute.
I’m beginning to run out of coping mechanisms and realised today that I have spent the last month without speaking to another person.
I know that there are many others who are suffered so much these last few years and maybe if someone would just say a quick hello to me we might both feel a little better. Thank you for reading this.
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Hello Anne
I’m so very sorry you lost your husband.
It must have been so hard for you shielding at home alone for the last year. This pandemic has been so brutal in so many ways.
I’m so very sorry you’ve had to go a month without speaking to anyone.
This site is a helpful and supportive community. Just having a read of some of the threads comforts me as well as contributing sometimes.
No one understands the grief after losing a beloved partner like the people on here who have suffered the same dreadful loss.
I hope you get the counselling you want soon.
You are not alone.
Janey
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I am so sorry for your loss. I can say I know how you feel. I lost my husband ten months ago and I am not coping very well with this. I feel so lost and lonely. When I found this site it was a godsend. I have felt attimes as tho I am going mad. Feelings I have never imagined I could have. The fear, anxiety, sorrow and emptiness. The longing to hug him once more. The denial in the hope that it was a horrible dream but then the reality hits. There is no joy. Most of the time I feel I am walking around in a fog. Everything seems pointless. I ask myself what it the meaning of life. Why are we all here if we have to experience such heartache and devastation. I wake up each morning and wonder how I will get through another day and then I cry. The tears just flow.
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Anne555
So sorry for your loss,my husband passed away 18 weeks ago I feel like I’m living in a nightmare,lost my confidence,very anxious and I agree with you it’s very hard coping with this life without our loved ones
At least on here we can express our feelings,I hope you get someone to talk to soon
As we are all suffering with this grief we understand how you are feeling
Take care
Christine x
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Thank you for your replies. The thought that physical ‘strangers’ ( though I can see from reading a lot of other posts that emotionally and mentally we are very much alike) could take a few minutes to reach out is very humbling .
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Oh Nel, I feel every word you have said and am sat with tears streaming down my face reading your words because, for me, that is absolutely how I feel. I haven’t even reached the two month mark yet, I’m still off work but am focusing on going back over the next couple of weeks because everyone keeps telling me that I need to get back into a routine as it will help. All I can think, is that when I go back I understand it will give me a routine but it will be the routine I had before when I still had my husband. It will just hit me in the face again that he won’t be here when I get in, I won’t be able to share my work day with him, there will be no more advice about work problems whilst we’re both cooking tea together. An in my face reminder from life that there is no more we. I’m dreading it.
Sending you hugs x
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My suggestion would be don’t go back to work until you are ready. People say go back to work and keep yourself busy but it’s a distraction and the grief is still there. It’s horrible knowing we will never hug them or see their face when we come home. Go at your own pace. Take care x
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Hiya Anne we’re here for you annie x x
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