struggling

hi everyone.
I lost my husband to Covid January 21…
I have daughters and grandchildren but feel so alone,
I’ve realised after the initial help and kindness,people,friends and even family believe it’s past and life goes on .
but I feel haunted by the experience and although I appear to have coped well inside is like I’m drowning in thoughts,when I’m alone.i feel unable to look forward to anything……
I miss my husband so much…we were married 25 years and I hate being alone…

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A lot of my friends have stopped feeling they need to make more effort and we have now slipped back to how we were when my husband was alive. Some that were “our” friends have drifted away as I don’t now fit in with their group of couples. I’m unsure how this could’ve worked out differently. I don’t feel I could carry on with the couples by myself - so how do we deal with this?
My family are great. They support me and I can always spend time with them. I’m very lucky.
However I’m still on my own a lot. I’m trying to get used to it but I cry when I’m alone but to the outside I look like I’m coping.
My enthusiasm for anything has gone, so I understand. We just have to hope life improves.

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