Its been a year now .since i lost my parents so close together
Within 13 weeks i lost both of them .People says it gets easier. But tbh i cant see it
Its only getting worse for me
Probably as i know i haven’t grieved properly for them .im been the stronger one of us .but im tired im emotional underneath and struggling myself. But i keep putting others especially my brother who’s older than me first…
Honestly dont know what our how to deal with it.
@Andrea1973 I’m so sorry for your losses. I’m currently living your nightmare a year ago. My mum passed away 30th April, her funeral next Tues. My dad is in end if life care, docs given him a matter of weeks. I don’t honestly know how to deal/cope with losing both parents so close together.
I’m just so angry at the moment with people judging or expecting me to ‘be strong’! I’ve entered into the ‘I will grieve how I want, for as long as I want’ mode.
I think you reserve the right to put yourself first. Let yourself grieve properly. Your older brother will need to work out his own journey.
I feel like the grieving journey is so personal and so lonely. I do think it helps though by spilling your guts to complete strangers. I know I tend to feel a tad more released when I post on here.
Please keep posting…let it all out. Everyone on this site is hurting immensely…just in slightly different ways. We’ve got your back. Sending hugs xx
I feel for you both. I have lost mine and five years on, I miss them terribly still. it is so hard but Time is in charge.
go with the flow as best you can ride out the tough emotions and care for yourself. losing mom and dad is just the hardest saddest thing.
@berit so sorry for your painful journey so far. It’s such an overwhelming feeling. I’ve been struggling quite badly with very dark thoughts. I keep thinking who’s going to die next? How will I cope? Will I end up taking my own life because the pain is too much?
Hope we continue to support one another. Sending you big hugs xx
me too … lost so many people
Everyone grieves in there own way, & I know what you mean about how irritating it is when people say, “it’ll get better,” & about “stay strong,” I guess at times like these people don’t always know what to say, & just want to try to be supportive & show they care, so they say the clichés that come to mind because that’s what everyone says at times like these, it’s annoying, but they mean well.
After my mom passed, my dad turned to drink, like he always does when he can’t handle stuff, leaving me to be, “the strong one”, it’s exhausting having to deal with my own grief & issues, & carry him to, I’ve had enough of it, what doesn’t help is that I suffer with chronic fatigue syndrome which tires me more, I’m supposed to take regular breaks between tasks, & manage my energy levels so I don’t over tire myself, but it’s hard when I’m having everyone else’s issues & all this responsibility dumped on me. Gladly my boyfriend is very supportive, & I often sleep over at his house just to avoid my dad, 
sadly it’s the only way I can manage it right now.
There’s no rule book to grieving, though sometimes I wish someone would write an instruction manual 
, I’ve even invited a few things of my own, 1) scream therapy, when I hit a wave of anger or frustration, I find a moment when I’m totally alone, & scream, letting it all out is better than bottling it up, though I do usually get a sore throat as a result, so have to drink plenty of cool water to calm it down.
2) mind mapping my thoughts, to help me put them in order, it can also help to colour code the emotions (red for anger, blue = sadness, purple=fear/anxiety), 3) try to keep a check on, & avoid anything I know makes me feel worse.
We’re going through some big changes in our lives, & we’re entitled to our feelings, it’s ok to not be ok sometimes, you do what works for you.
@Pandaprincess thank you. I definitely can relate to you having to take on other’s issues too. I’ve always been seen as ‘the strong one’ but in times like these, what is strong? I can’t even describe some of my emotions right now as I’m not even sure they fall into the general categories. I do like your idea of screaming it out. I must find my quiet place before I scare the neighbours …