So I survived xmas day (1st Xmas without my dad who died incredibly tragically 6 months ago) but I didn’t anticipate feeling so awful yesterday and today.
I miss my dad terribly and I don’t know how to get over the trauma of his death. I’m signed off a job I pretty much hate and don’t want to return to but feel like such a failure as I’ve never had a job I’ve actually wanted to do. My working life has been a disaster and nothing I’ve ever been able to say I’m proud of - just shitty jobs and not an actual career I would have liked. I feel like my family life is difficult - my (recently diagnosed neorodiverse 17yr old) daughter is out tonight at friends parents having a great time whereas our house just feels miserable and never fun. I suffer pain all the time (apparently fibromyalgia but I think it’s a lot to do with 11 years of constant stress and shit stuff happening). I’m also my mums main carer with dementia and she’s getting worse. I (don’t say this lightly) actually hate my life, its always just stressful, miserable and conflicted and I think I’ve just reached my limit - I dunno how to make anything better and I think
If my daughters dad hadn’t taken his own life 11yrs ago, I’m not sure I’d still want to be here. It’s not that I want to die, I just want life to stop and give me a break if that makes sense?
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Hi @KR74,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds as though things are very difficult for you at the moment.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these links with you to help you with your grief.
You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Becca
Online Community Team