Im 12 weeks into this horrendous time and im struggling to even go out the house.I dont want to see anybody i know out of my safety of my home.Am i being silly or is this the way grief is affecting me im hoping im not on my own with this.Im fine with my friend and family but get very anxious if i need to go out alone.
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You are not alone, I have rarely left my home since losing my son. I’ve only gone on a few trips to see family but feel guilty if I’m away having fun so I stay home. I hope to get out more, Thomas wouldn’t like me hiding away.
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You must not let yourself become isolated, because that is a downward spiral. I sometimes stay in bed all day because I can’t be bothered to get up, but I feel a little better when I DO make the effort. It is so hard to carry on, but I think finding things to do around the house makes you feel better. I have fibromyalgia and lower back pain, which doesn’t help, but you just have to do what you can and don’t feel guilty if you just want to do nothing.
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I lost my son 11 months ago to suicide. I do not understand why I didn’t do more. I did not think he would do this as he had 2 loving parents, money, friends & wonderful sister. How I wish I could turn back the clock & change things. I know he hid his feelings to us as not to worry us, but I am afraid he may of got bad information on the internet that helped him in his decision. I still can’t believe it really happened, I miss him so much. My husband, my daughter & I refused to look at him in the funeral home, we were all so distraught. We decided to remember him as he was. I still haven’t put his ashes in a crematorium. I know I have to get on it, but I don’t know what city I want to put him in. I want him to be with his dad & I. Unfortunately, this will all fall on my daughter. My heart breaks for her. She has a partner who is very good to her and some lovely aunts & uncles & cousins. I have encouraged her to keep close to them & reach out. She is smart. I have gone to therapy & coping counselling with lots of support. I just will have to move forward & ask God to help me through this. Missing my beautiful, funny, loving adult son. He would be 35 today. I understand what you are going through. We love our children so much and feel that is enough, but our children have their own struggles that we can’t understand being of another generation.
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