My darling Paul left me forever yesterday after a cardiac arrest 10 days ago. He never regained consciousness but there were days we thought he may make it. Suddenly the prognosis became a bleaker one and when they turned off the ventilator he died within minutes not the days anticipated. He was only 56 and fit and healthy so no reason to suspect anything was wrong. I am utterly numb and don’t know how I will ever cope. I hate it when I wake up in the morning and wish I could just stay asleep. He did so much I feel like an abandoned child with no clue about anything. I feel so alone. How do I get through this?
7 Likes
I’m so sorry,I don’t have the answers but feel like you.My Peter died suddenly in the garden last May,I found him there and still can’t believe he’s gone.He was fit and healthy too,I feel worse in the mornings when I wake up and know I have to face another day.I also feel like an abandoned child we were together for 38 years and I’m lost without him.It’s so hard .
2 Likes
We lost my dad in the same way, in November. It was terrible. It still is terrible. My dad did everything for everyone. I am lost without him. The only difference between our stories is that my dad did have symptoms, and was having appointments with primary care but they didn’t ever consider a cardiac cause. He was never once seen by a GP, only a trainee clinical practitioner, despite being in his 70s. 
@starbright my husband died on Christmas Eve - heart attack in hospital after suffering chest pains earlier in the evening. Sadly the hospital he was in for 6 hours did nothing at all for him except take a blood test in my view there was plenty of time for some kind of intervention but they did nothing. The feelings you have are similar to mine and most people on this site - the waking up in the morning is definitely one the more awful parts of the day. I n the early days I often thought I could hear my husband downstairs grinding his coffee beans and making tea for me the sheer despair you feel is nothing you have ever felt before so it will take time before it makes even a tiny bit of sense if it ever does. I have also had that feeling like an abandoned child my husband took care of most things including me as I have a disability. You ask how you will get through it - well there is no compelling answer to that question it depends on so many factors completely unique to you - you get through hour by hour. I can tell you though that coming onto this site has been a great source of support for me and everyone on here. We are all on the same horrid journey that you now find yourself on, just reading what other people say can be helpful even if you don’t feel like talking but of you do feel like talking you can unburden yourself and there will always be someone who will reach out. I hope this helps in some small way x
2 Likes
My heart goes out to you my husband died aged 50 in December from a cardiac arrest at home after just coming out of hospital from a quadruple heart bypass. He died just over a month later after lots of hoping he might be ok to then being told he would sadly never recover 
I was in complete shock and I still feel like I’m only just starting to come to terms with him not being here anymore. I would say just to take a day or even an hour at a time and try not to look too far ahead. Reading other people’s stories on here also helps me and makes me feel less alone. Hope you have some support around you. Sending love and strength xxx
1 Like
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. This group will help you through as many of us are going through similar journeys. My husband died in my arms of a cardiac arrest on the 2nd January. He had shown no signs of being ill. I tried my best with CPR but sadly it wasn’t ever going to be successful.
We had been together for 35 years and had so many plans for the future. He died 3 days before his 60th.
You will no doubt be feeling complete shock, numbness and disbelief at the moment and then have sooooo much to organise. Let others help you with informing people and support you with the endless decision making.
Sending you support and strength
4 Likes
It’s just so horrible, isn’t it. For us. To lose our fit and healthy men so suddenly. I never would have dreamed it. So sorry to all of you going through this. It’s incredibly traumatic.
2 Likes
Thank you all for replying it feels so lonely and even though I have friends and family around me at the moment I know that won’t be forever. I still feel he is about to walk in or that he is in the other room but then the reality kicks in again and my stomach lurches. It is awful that we are all going through this but I think this forum is going to be a huge source of comfort and support.
5 Likes
Just take one hourvatva time try rest as much asvyou can grirf is massive and u will need allvyour energy to keep going …thinking off you tonight
2 Likes
We lost my brother unexpectedly 7 months ago. Grief is so difficult. Each morning I wake up still thinking this is all a dream. Then I get reassurance knowing that he has passed on to a more love filled and peaceful place. My thoughts are with you. It will get more bearable and the intervals will get longer. But the pain will remain because we love them so much
2 Likes
I have just lost my hubby who died on Thursday the 14th of march but we were together over 50years i lost my only child 3years ago and it is only now i have to grieve for him before can geieve for my husband i looked after my hubby for a few years which meant i had no time to grieve for my son and i hate to say this but i blame my hubby because i had to put my feelings into looking after him
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I too lost my husband just over a year ago and 16 months before that we lost our daughter, so I was still grieving for her when my husband died. He had Parkinson’s and I had been looking after him for five years. It is the hardest thing to grieve for a child and a husband at the same time. Overwhelming at times. My thoughts are with you.