I lost my husband to sudden arrhythmic death syndrome last March. Because he left home apparently well and died at work I’m struggling to accept that he is gone. I’m finding it very hard to be without him especially at the moment with Christmas coming up. If anyone else has experienced a sudden loss how did you come to terms with accepting they weren’t coming home again. Thanks
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@Fliss I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 40 years in September this year unexpectedly. He was only in hospital for 4 days. I visited him on Wednesday and he was talking and looking to coming home. On Thursday I was told that he was unresponsive and I lost him that evening. This was quite a shock for me. I know that it is still early days for me but I still expect him to walk through the door every evening. On one level I know he has gone but on another level I expect him to come home. I don’t think that I have fully accepted that I will never see him again.
I am finding everything to do with Christmas very hard at the moment. My first Christmas in 46 1/2 years without him so I am going to give Christmas a miss. I miss him terribly. I am not sure that I will ever come to terms with losing him but others on this site who are further along on this horrible journey may be able to offer advice that may help you. I can only exist one day at a time.
Keep posting here as often as you need to and someone will reply to you.
Take care. Sending you love and hugs. X
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I’m so sorry you’ve also suffered such a sudden loss. I agree its so difficult to accept they have gone. I’m spending Christmas with family but i know it will be hard to seem happy for them. I hope you find some peace over the Christmas season.
Xx
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@Fliss Thank you. I hope that your time with your family helps you over the Christmas period. I also wish that you find some peace over Christmas. Be kind to yourself and do what feels right for you. Thinking of you.
Love and hugs. xx
Thanks xxx
I too lost my husband of 45yrs suddenly and unexpectedly in June. He loved Christmas time and we had a good laugh me playing the grinch. I feel totally lost. I’ve got supportive family, but ive never lived alone. Had some bad sad days. Im working 24/25/26/27 December and not celebrating at all. Only way js for me to get through it. Hugs to all of you grievingand putting one foot in front of the other.
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Christmas seems to make the loss harder to bear. I too lost my partner in March when found unresponsive in hospital just an hour after chatting. The shock is hard to bear. Almost 9 months on and I find some days more bearable but we have to retire our brains and Christmas is something most of us haven’t faced yet. So however we choose to get through it we have the support and understanding of each other. One way or another we will get through it together.
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So sorry you are feeling so lost. I hope working over the holiday will keep you going. We each have to do what we feel is best for us.
Wishing you the strength to get through.
Xx
Fliss
I am so sorry for your loss
My husband got up had an aneurysm at the top of our stairs
I was awaken by a loud noise I found him at the bottom of our stairs dead
Even though i knew he had gone for months later i was in a bubble thinking he was at work
It made it easier for me to cope with his traumatic death
As for Christmas only do what you can do
It’s been 5 years since my husband died I still cannot put a tree up in our house it holds so many memories that we shared I feel it would break me
It is ok NOT TO BE OK the festive season
There is so much pressure put on everyone around this season
It’s one day
Do what will get you through the day and if that’s staying in bed all day do it !
I really hope it gets easier for you over time
Time does make a difference you learn how to cope but unfortunately your heart will always be broken
Take care
Xx
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My husband of 40 years went to work in may and never came home. He had a heart attack at work and died instantly. This Christmas is going to be really hard. I am going to my daughters but i cry every day. He was my rock, my soul mate my best friend. Not sure i will ever get used to him not being here. My life will never be the same. I am still not returned to work yet. Cant face that one till at least Christmas is out of way.
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Hazel
My life fell apart when David died
I was off work for 6months I lived in my wee bubble he was alive
He was just at work 
I did make myself go back to work just before Xmas as I knew I had to
You do what’s best for you
Everyone says time is a great healer
They are right I don’t believe you heal but you learn to cope with the loss
When your body is ready you will know
You will survive
You will never be the same
But hold on to all those lovely memories that you made together that will get you through the challenges in the future
You take care
Xx
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It’s comforting to know that other people feel as i do. I find i want to tell people what happened and this forum lets me share my story with people who understand. I hope we all find our own to cope with Christmas this year.
Thanks and love to you all. Xx
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I’m another one, 6 months ago, husband in hospital but expecting to get home. Woken at 6am to be told he was unresponsive. Had an undetected bleed on the brain. My daughter and I sat with him till he died. Even though I witnessed his last breathe part of me thought he would still come home, surely the whole thing was a sick joke, a doppelganger. It must be even worse if you aren’t with them. You can know something is true but it doesn’t feel true, it feels as if really believing it is tantamount to feeling it’s ok. So we’re stuck between wanting to believe it and not. A strange painful kind of limbo.
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My husband Mark went to work one day and didnt come home. Had a heart attack and died instantly. I never got to say goodbye. He was 67 and we had been married 40 years.
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I lost my husband suddenly on 25th November, we only got married in September but been together 10 years. We have a 3 year old daughter, he was 56 and I’m 43. It’s just heartbreaking, I found him and tried to save him.
I have a constant knot and feeling of dread but I have to do things for my daughter like take her to see Santa we booked as a family and a Christmas show but it is just torture.
So sorry we are all here xx
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@Fliss I’m sorry to hear about your loss of your husband. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly a year ago today to undiagnosed cancer. My husband collapsed , he was 53 years old. Never had a chance to say goodbye, I love you and all what I would have wanted to say. I really don’t think you do ever accept that they are not coming back, you learn to live along side your grief. I think about my husband all the time and miss him every single day. I have good days and bad days with massive meltdowns. I keep busy and have made plans for next year. I either sink or swim and my husband didn’t get the choice or chance and I know that he would be so angry if I gave up on life which is hard now that I have got a new life that I didn’t ask for and without him, take care and keep reaching out on here xx
I’m so sorry to hear about how you lost your husband. He was so young. I also find it very hard that i I didn’t get to say goodbye. I wake early now and lie and think about him and how much i miss him. I’m also trying to keep going but some days its difficult.
I hope it will get easier to cope as time goes on but from what others have told me the pain never leaves you.
Stay strong. Xx
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All heartbreaking. How on earth do we keep functioning. I cant get the image from my mind, of my husband one minute enjoying life the next nothing…no warning no nothing. 6 months on and still bewidered. Outwardly i probably seem “fine”. How do we claw through every day? I send hugs to you all.
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So many of us have suffered sudden loss.
I’m feeling so bad this morning but i don’t know why. I hope it passes.
Live to all on here. Xx
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