Sudden death of mum

I lost my mum 1 day ago suddenly, one minute she was fine talking and laughing with me the next she’s being sick and and just making groaning noises, unfortunately the paramedics could nog save her. I’ve not cried yet just struggling, it’s like i can’t breath I can feel my pulse racing and hands shake like mad, I woke up at last night at the exact time iff tv happened the night before unable to breath and trembling, is this normal? What helps or at least will this feeling go away. I just don’t understand how to cope

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Hello @Ab12,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

@Ab12 hi, I lost my mum 5 days ago. It wasn’t sudden, I watched her suffer for 7 weeks. I cried lots, there are moments now that I can’t cry. I think its normal. We are all different. This feeling of numbness will go. My therapist told me, she didn’t cry for 2 years after her dad died. Just listen to yourself, to your body. Sending you a big hug. Xxx

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Hey @Ab12

I’m sorry for your loss.
This is brand new for you and your body is trying to protect you, though it feels frightening when you’re in shock :heart:

I went into shock when my Mum passed even though it was expected, my body led the way and I listened to it best I could. I’m almost 6 weeks in and the shock did subside.

The best piece of advice anyone gave me was to take it one hour at a time x


Sorry for your loss. Mum mum also does suddenly on new year’s day. I was in complete shock at first. Had to give her CPR until paramedics arrived but she had already died. My adrenaline got me through that first 24 hours or so but then it hit me. This is normal. I’ve had to go onto Sertraline I’m only three weeks in so it’ll take a little while to feel the full benefits but I’ve already calmed and had a few better nights sleep. This is a process and it’ll take time to adjust as others have said just listen to your body, keep posting on here, get support from friends and family and reach out to your GP if you need to. Sending love and strength :heart:



I’m so sorry for your loss. This is very raw for you right now so just go with whatever helps… sleep/walk/talk but keep in touch with this site and register with text service. I found this helps me now even 7 months on (my mum died very suddenly and unexpectedly). The best advice I can give is there is no right or wrong to your grief and to take one step/day at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with everything that needs doing all in one go xx


Thank you to all who have replied, I know it’s not easy for any of you as you are all going through grief yourselves. It’s hard to keep calm as one minute I feel good and then as soon as night time falls I start to feel anxious and very scared, wish I could keep it day light constantly. We’ve got the post mortem to get through which I hope gives me abit closure
Thank you again to everyone, talking to you really does help me feel less anxious. Sending loves and hugs xxxx