Sudden death of my mum

I’m 27 and my mum was my best friend. We did absolutely everything together. On February 12th this year I had just started getting ready to go shopping and cook lunch with my mum. My dad rang me and said I should get there quick, my mum had collapsed and her heart had stopped. Paramedics and doctors were there when I arrived. Later on at the hospital they broke the news that my mum had suffered a bleed on the brain. The next day they broke the news that the bleed was massive and there was nothing they could do. We had to turn the machines off on February 13th. My mum had gone. We had such a lovely send off on March the 7th but ever since then I feel lost and alone. It’s like the whole world is moving on and I’m stuck here. I have a massive hole inside of me and I’m constantly trying to fill it but I don’t know what I’m looking for? I go from being happy to sad to angry and heartbroken within minutes. The slightest thing upsets me. Up until my mum, I was really lucky and had never lost anyone close to me and now I’m just not sure what I’m supposed to be doing?

Try not look for anything specific to fill that hole. It may feel scary but let yourself roll with whatever emotion you need to get through the day.
It’s taken me several months since my mum died, to realise that it’s important to let yourself experience the physical pain of grief so that other things can begin to have their place again. There’s no set time for grieving. Do what is right for you. All the best x

1 Like

Hi Michaela, I lost my mum two months ago and understand what you mean about having a hole that you don’t know how to fill. The emotions are like a rollercoaster aren’t they? I go from happy to miserable in seconds for no obvious reason other than a small thing happens that triggers a memory.
It’s not much but please know that there are people out there who care and who know how you’re feeling - because they’re feeling it too. Be strong.

The emotions are unbearable. Sometimes I question how I’m supposed to go on without my mum. Today is very much a down day :frowning: The smallest things happen and I just want to be able to call her and tell her all about it and then reality hits that I can’t

Hi Michaela

There is nothing like the pain of losing a parent and i think as women losing our Mums is the worst. My Mum passed away nine months ago and I find things still a struggle. I think all you can do is take one day at a time and just hope that the pain will ease gradually. Give yourself little treats to get you through. I find going to the cinema good, it’s dark so no one can see you if you get upset and just want to have a good cry or whatever. I will see anything going, a couple of hours of escapism from the day to day existance.

I hope your day has been a bit better today anyway.

Mel

1 Like

Hi I know exactly how you feel I lost my mum 9 weeks ago :frowning: she was my complete world she died very sudden and unexpectedly. Wednesday night I was talking to her at 9pm at 8.30am I found her in bed. I feel so lonely and very much on my own even thou I have family and friends around me. I wish I knew the answers to how to make this pain inside me stop hurting. This site has helped me talking about how you feel is the best thing don’t bottle it all up take care

I completely get where you are. I lost my dad on the 8th march this year. My dad went to bed a health man then had a heart attack and never woke up. I feel completely lost now my dad has gone and feel like my world stopped at 6.30am on the 8th march. I can say honestly how you are feeling is normal for what has happened to you as I am learning its hard to judge how your going to be from hour to hour