My boyfriend was found dead on the 16th December he was only 43 I am struggling so much right now. I know it’s only early and I haven’t got to see him yet. I have cancelled Christmas this year I can not face it. He was my world and I don’t know how I can live on without him by my side I am heart broken beyond words. I haven’t eaten since the news and I have a constant sick feelings I feel so weak and dont want to go on without him
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Hello @Rachel42,
I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It sounds like you’re feeling devastated.
The sudden death of someone close to you can often leave you with intense feelings to cope with as you grieve. And you might also be coping with the trauma and shock of it, which can make it all the more difficult.
Many of our members have experienced a sudden death and will understand some of what you’re going through. You can read some recent conversations about this by clicking this link. You might find some comfort and support in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find our info page on coping with sudden deaths helpful to read.
Please be gentle with yourself and keep reaching out 
Alex
So sorry Rachel. I have lost two husbands suddenly, and I know the shock is terrible. My first husband died when I was 48, it was so-called “Sudden Adult Death Syndrome”. He died when he was on a training run. I remarried when I was 53. My second husband had a sudden cardiac arrest in bed next to me.
Just take an hour at a time for now, or 10 minutes if an hour is too much. Eat whatever and whenever you can, doesn’t matter if it’s junk food. Accept any offer of help or company. I remember longing for company to try to stop myself from crying or going mad. Then I couldn’t wait for them to go away and leave me alone. By the time they disappeared round the corner I wanted them to come back.
Breathe, just get through today. Keep reading and posting here. It has been my salvation in so many ways.
Sending love and strength.
Jane xx
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Try to eat light foods like toast, etc. It’s important to nourish yourself right now. And, try to stay hydrated. It’s hard, but it might make you feel a bit better. Don’t put anything much on yourself for a while. I’m so sorry.
Good advice. I crave company in bereavement, its a distraction but I do not know enough people to fill that daily void. So I am forcing myself to join what I can and have even forced myself to reappraise old wounds and attempt some reconciliation with people from the past. Life is too short to hold grudges, wasted time to prove a point does not apply when time of fate is not on your side. Keep reaching out until you get some reciprocation. You just have to keep trying!
So very sorry for you. There is nothing to say or do that makes a difference. You just have to keep going as best you can. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. We are not dealing only in horrible grief and loss, but on top of that horrendous shock, another layer.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 9th December and my two lovely boys lost their amazing dad. He collapsed and my son had to work on him 
I then had to take over . He had a massive bleed to the brain and didn’t stand a chance. Totally brokenhearted 
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Such tragic circumstances, my sincerest condolences
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That is really tough. I had to do CPR for 15 minutes when Jeremy had a cardiac arrest in bed. I thought he would recover because his heart re-started. He lived for three weeks in a coma, but massive brain damage. He continued to breathe when they turned off the life support, but nothing else. They discontinued feeding, fluids and meds, he died three days later.
My lovely sister had a massive brain bleed due to an undiagnosed brain aneurysm, she died in my arms. She was only 51.
You have my sympathy, and my love. But, and this won’t chime with everyone, having lost two husbands that I loved very much, and my wonderful sister, I am happy again. I didn’t think that was possible, but I am.
I wish the sane for everyone here.
Jane xx
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