So my partner has recently died after 16 years together. He suffered with some health problems which led him to be increasingly disabled and depressed. There are many days I honestly struggled to cope with it over the years but we were happy enough and okay.
I just can’t believe how there is this “hole” In my life and in my day. Everything revolved around support, medicines, shopping and keeping the house going, general chit chat and coffees out a few times a week. Now nothing. Also, we were not married and the legal issues are causing me so much anxiety and stress. My friends and family are supportive, I’m lucky that way, and some can also empathise which helps with similar lives. My mind can’t switch off, my biggest fear is dying at home alone and no one to find me or to know. I think it stems from extreme loneliness and fear, I’ve always been a bit anxious. I’ve been on a few long walks, they seem to help a bit. I’ve been reading other people’s messages and I work full time as a Nurse which helps me realise I’m not the only one. But I never knew or fathomed grief was so intense. Even when it’s sort of expected.