Sudden loss of a partner with chronic health and disability

So my partner has recently died after 16 years together. He suffered with some health problems which led him to be increasingly disabled and depressed. There are many days I honestly struggled to cope with it over the years but we were happy enough and okay.

I just can’t believe how there is this “hole” In my life and in my day. Everything revolved around support, medicines, shopping and keeping the house going, general chit chat and coffees out a few times a week. Now nothing. Also, we were not married and the legal issues are causing me so much anxiety and stress. My friends and family are supportive, I’m lucky that way, and some can also empathise which helps with similar lives. My mind can’t switch off, my biggest fear is dying at home alone and no one to find me or to know. I think it stems from extreme loneliness and fear, I’ve always been a bit anxious. I’ve been on a few long walks, they seem to help a bit. I’ve been reading other people’s messages and I work full time as a Nurse which helps me realise I’m not the only one. But I never knew or fathomed grief was so intense. Even when it’s sort of expected.

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Hello @Jamesph,

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner - that is devastating. A lot of people told us that when someone they were caring for has died, they can find that the change in routine on top of their bereavement is really difficult.

We have a range of free bereavement support at sueryder.org/support, including a Grief Guide, our Bereavement information and more. You might find our support page on coping with loneliness after a bereavement especially helpful right now.

I hope you find the community to be a support to you, too. You are not alone.

Take good care of yourself,
Seaneen

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Very sorry to hear what you are going through. I think the loss of the caring role just adds to the pain. I do identify with the realisation that grief is so much more intense than expected. I’ve been shocked by that. A world I knew nothing about. Its good to hear you have your work, family and friends. Sending best wishes to you

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. You sound lonely. Hopefully this site can help you. You are not alone xx