Sudden loss of a teenager

I lost my son, my best friend 3 years ago yesterday. People told me time is a healer, but the more time goes on its just a reminder of how long its been since youve held them, heard their voice, laughed with them, been a parent to them. Im not sure what i want from posting this, but you look online and it says there is so many grieving stages… i think its bulshit. Im not the same since my eldest son died, and im still trying to parent to my other children. Its so hard. Im getting on with life, but im not living im surviving, most days are a blur… does anyone else feel the same?


Hello @M03kt,

Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. You are not alone - sadly, many of our members have lost a child, too, and will relate to how you’re feeling. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” - I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support.

Hey M,

Can I start by saying how much I feel for you. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child… what is your son’s name?

I lost my Mum 10 weeks ago and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m trying my best as it’s what she would want and she brought me up to be strong but nothing prepares you for this.

You sound like an incredibly strong person, you’re taking care of your family. Is there anything you can do for yourself? Dont burn out trying to take care of eveyeone else because one thing I’ve learnt recently is that no one can “come to save you.” You can only save yourself.

And agreed, the “stages of grief” is bollocks! It’s very generalised but I feel it’s so much more complicated.


Hi there my sons name is kellum, he had a cardiac arrest after playing football. It was very sudden and traumatising. Nothing prepares you for it. After a huge loss your never the same. Your like a shell, just surving not living. Some days you will laugh and have fun but at the end of the day you are alone with your thoughts.

I have tried counseling, doing outdoor things, self care etc. Im pretty numb have been since it happend.

I can say it will feel better… or you hide it better. Just take every day as it comes. Thats all you can do.

I cant say i underatand your loss, as i havent lost a parent. Only people in your situation can understand to some degree. But i can empathise and send my love and strength. I really hope you start to feel a little better, but its still early days.

Sending hugs xx

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