My 5 year old daughter who was perfectly happy, healthy and full of life suddenly died a month ago from an extremely rare birth defect known as congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) We didn’t know she had this condition. She began to be sick, the doctor passed it off as a sickness bug and within 20 hours she had gone!!
Apparently she was in the1% of all cases that was not picked up on ultrasound or was poorly at birth. She has been well all of her life until she began to be sick. We are completely traumatised and in shock. I cannot bear to live with this pain and longing every second of every day. Every day is a struggle. I feel nobody understands. Has anybody else been in a similar situation? Does it ever get easier?
You poor poor soul. What a dreadful shock for you. You must be in total turmoil. It is very early days for you and so so raw.
I am 9 months in to this unthinkable journey and I am not sure how i feel right now. I am told it does get better and I can say the shock is not as it was.
In the early days I just literally took one minute at a time, then an hour, then morning, afternoon, and evenjng. Now it is a day. Really small steps.
I talk and talk about my daughter. If people don’t want to listen then they are not friends.
I hope you have some support.
Sending my love xxx
This experience feels to me as if we’ve been violently attacked and robbed. We are having to deal not only with grief at the death of a daughter but also suffering the physical effects of shock. Our grown up daughter (an only child) died within a few hours of feeling “a bit unwell”. There was no warning of real danger and our son-in-law took a long time to understand that there was nothing he could have done that would have changed the outcome.
We are five months on and only now are we beginning to be able to function as we once did. The grief is still as sharp but slowly we’re beginning to be able to think again, so that life is resuming a regular pattern.
I’m desperately sorry that you have to go through this, no-one should have to. All I can offer is that fleeting intervals of light do begin to show themselves but they can’t be predicted or held. Be kind to yourself and cherish the memories of your daughter, you are her memorial. Don’t expect much of others, we’ve discovered who our real friends are through this but those real friends are beyond price.
Wishing you the strength to cope with your loss and pain,
J xx
Kezza my heart goes out to you. Your posting takes me right back to the early days of total shock and disbelief. I’m 11 months on in my journey and yes it is different now. I don’t know if easier is the right word but definitely different. The raw pain will wear off. Chinks of light will seep in. You will remember and smile sometimes. But it’s the most difficult journey you will take. For now take it hour by hour, try and eat, and try and rest when you can. And keep posting on here or if you can talk to someone who has experienced the same it will help immensely. Love xx
Thank you Orchard for your support and to offer a little bit of light in the dark, I feel such a desperate longing to cuddle and kiss my little girl and I keep looking for her because I can’t believe this could happen. I wish you more light and some happy times in your journey. Thinking of you. Xx