My nana was my best friend, a very proud and independent woman who was very resistant to accepting help but I was the one person she let help her. I would take her to get her hair done, give her pedicures, take her to the dentist etc. We spoke often on the phone and I saw her at least once a week. We grew particularly close whilst I was on maternity leave and our bond was really special. On my daughter’s 8th birthday she came with us for a Chinese and seemed absolutely fine, did not say anything to me about feeling unwell. A day later she was struggling with breathlessness (although did not tell me this, she told my mum) after resisting any support she finally caved and agreed for an ambulance to be called, she was taken to hospital Saturday afternoon. Her mind deteriorated rapidly when she got into hospital, I struggle to this day to understand why and feel I have unanswered questions about her care. I visited her on Sunday and although she was a bit confused she was able to speak with me and I got the nurses to make her comfortable, she fell asleep so I kissed her head and said ‘love you’ and planned to return to see her tomorrow. She suddenly passed that night. The doctor claimed he was shocked, reporting that she had been doing well. My brain can’t accept what has happened. How could she be ok and then suddenly die? The doctor said cause of death was suspected undiagnosed lung disease but due to no post mortem its not certain. I was the last person to see her alive of our family, I couldn’t stay long with her as I had to go watch my daughters show and now I have tremendous guilt that I wasn’t with her. She was alone when she passed which breaks my heart. I have no power over anything as I’m not next of kin but I knew her best out of everyone. I feel very angry and lost. How can someone just deteriorate so rapidly and pass especially when they were ‘doing well’? Was she overlooked by staff because of her age? So many questions that I may never get the answer to.
Hello @Lotts91,
Thank you for so bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Many of our members have experienced the death of their grandparent and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a grandparent category. But there you will find lots of conversations from other members who are coping with their grief. You may find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Keep reaching out and take care 
Alex
Thank you Alex, no I had missed that page I will have a look now
This sounds all too similar to my recent circumstances; it is such a difficult thing to go through. The unanswered medical questions also play on my mind! Wishing you all the best x