I lost my darling husband very suddenly on 22nd Nov 2018 to a massive heart attack. There are days when I feel i am moving forward quite well & others when I fall apart usually when i am trying to deal with his personal belongings or something that promots a happy memory of us together. I see the movie of the night he died in my head every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times & i guess am wondering how long it will take before that stops. I watched him stop breathing & administerd CPR & am wracked with guilt i couldnt save him or done more.
I am sorry for your loss. I totally understand how you are feeling. I also lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48. Myself and my older son gave him CPR until the paramedics arrived . We both done our best I still have flashbacks because it happened right in front of me. Try and get lots of support and keep posting on this forum as it helps me.
Christine x
Thanx Christine. Sorry for ur loss. Its comforting to share my feelings + know that someone has + still is going through the same. I have great support from the running group I am with + exercise is my release.
I’m glad you are getting support from your running group . Keep saying I will go swimming or long walks but I am getting a lot done to my house which is keeping me busy.
Hi Salvager
Lost my husband the same way in March 2018.I understand you replaying it over and over,i did that for a good while,i would like to say it stops,but can only give my experience.I still visit that fateful day in my head now and again,much less frequently than i used too.I think it is always going to stay with me ,personally,but the shock of it all lessens if that makes sense.
Please let go of the guilt,it serves no purpose,same as you i administered CPR,and it didn’t save my hubby either.We tried our hardest,that,s enough,we did what we could,because of our love for them.I don’t feel anymore that i let my hubby down,it was never under my control,Your grief is more than enough to handle.
I know it,s so hard ,hope you can find more days where you are moving forward,it’s ok too to fall apart,there’s no right or wrong way to be, ,i still do ,and i know for sure no matter how long i will still have those days.Thinking of you,xx
Thanx Aries + Robin. It helps to keep busy + I have a young dog to walk too. An early Xmas present my husband agreed to a few weeks before he passed. His name is Reggie + he is a real godsend.