Sudden loss of my dad at 58 years old.

My dad passed away In the middle of locked down suddenly and wasn’t poorly So it was all such a shock and now the shock is over the grief is kicking in and I am really struggling, I feel lonely and have no one to talk too as everyone is just living their normal lives and have forgot what I’m going through they was all so supportive for the first few weeks. I don’t want to confine in my mum or younger brother because I don’t want to worry them and obviously they are dealing with a lot themselves , I feel everyone thinks i should be over it and getting on with life and I just can’t put on w brave face and be strong anymore :frowning:

So sorry for your loss
Its now 15 wks since my partner passed away and i feel like alot of people are just carrying on mow like nothings happened and dont understand why i am quiet or dont want to do certain things we all grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way to fo it
I know you said you dont want to worry your mum ot brother and im sure they wouldnt think that or do you have any close friends its good to talk and let out how your feeling and us in here will listen tok your not alone xx

Thank you for your response, I get that feeling specially whilst I’m at work and having to try so hard to be “ normal”. I do have some close friends which I can talk too but doesn’t want to burden them and also like I said they don’t really check up on me much anymore and if they do I’m always saying the same thing, talking with them as harass as it sounds isn’t helping me much I just feel no one understands the lose of a parent specially at a young age ( I am 25) xx

I’m so sorry to hear this - try cruse if you are struggling. I totally understand that you don’t want to worry your family but you can still access support. Take care x

So very sorry for your loss, grieving can be so hard and it does feel like everyone else is going on as normal and you’re not… it really does help to connect and communicate, so try to find different ways to do it. Does your mum talk about your dad? It doesn’t have to be a long conversation just the sharing of a memory. Put together a play list of some your dad’s favourite music and listen to it. Sue Ryder has suggested October as ‘Walk to Remember’ month so organise a walk with your mum and brother. Also you could access the Sue Ryder Bereavement counselling as another form of support. It’s ok to say you need a hug, I bet your mum wants one too.

Oh bless you im 36 and lost my partner 15 wks ago my dad died.4 years ago my sister was 24 when we lost dad she dosent talk to me or mum about how she was feeling she ended up having to see.a cousellor as she completley went off the rails one evening very bizare behaviour but it was her grieving still snd holding everything in this was only last year not saying that will happwn to you but maybe counselling can help or try amd speak to your mum your not a burden to anyone xx

Hi Tarajade
My husband passed quickly we had little time to get used to it.
My youngest daughter struggled very much. I can only speak for myself here but as Her mother I would hate to think of her struggling and not be able to help her. I must say putting my own feelings aside was not easy but I felt her grief and wanted to ease her suffering. I believe talking to her explaining why things were as they were and nothing would have changed the outcome helped her to understand that life unfortunatley sucks and sometimes its a battle to take on a new day. She knows she can ask anything and I would do anything to help her. Its difficult but thats what being her mum is all about.
If you can start up a conversation with your mum and just go with how you feel. It may help you both.

Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. At the start of lockdown my Dad very shockingly and unexpectedly passed away. His body wasn’t discovered until May. It’s broke my heart. Even the post mortem results aren’t very clear on what actually killed him. It can be so tough, can’t it? I was his Administrator so I’ve been the one who has done absolutely everything regarding the funeral, his house. It’s been really tough on me - I’m only 24. Because I was doing everything, my adrenaline was pumping - along with the shock - and it wasn’t until a couple of months down the line, when things started to slow down, that I felt like my grief really hit me. I know it might not feel like it, but you will be OK. You will have better days again my friend. xxx

Hi TaraJade, I’ve just seen your message and it’s encouraged me to join. My mum actually passed away in 2013 which sounds like so long ago but to be it still feels like it was so recent. I was 25 when I lost her and felt exactly how you are feeling now. I’ve struggled a lot recently with her not being around and missing her terribly. I hope you’re ok and always here if you need to speak to anyone who understands x

I’m glad it encouraged you to speak also, thank you for your kind words, and sorry for your loss, always here if you need to talk also. I think now the in till shock is over and as “normal life” goes round it’s hard to accept that he is gone just keep trying to remind myself to think of all the wonderful memories we have together and how he would want me to live my life to the fullest. Tara x

Hi sorry to hear about your dad. My dad passed away 2 days ago. I completely understand your frustration with people around you I feel the same. I think why are people getting on with their lives when I’m stuck here feeling lost and miserable. Sending love

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