Sudden loss of my dad

I lost my lovely dad last year and I’ve turned to drink. I have realised drink isn’t the answer and I am cutting down slowly.

On the dreaded day I received a phone call on my mobile “mum calling” but it was her neighbour that spoke….He said my dad had fell over and my mum was upset and could I come straight away.
I left work and started shaking as I knew something wasn’t right.

As I drove down my parents street I struggled to park the car as there was 4 ambulances and police cars. The back of 1 of the ambulances was open and I saw them doing chest compressions on my dad. My heart sank,the neighbour quickly escorted me in to my mum who was hysterical.

I phoned my sister to ask her to come straight away but she refused as she had covid. My dad sadly passed in the ambulance , I decided to see him and give him a kiss goodbye.

I haven’t had a good relationship with my sister for years. I arranged the funeral with my mum, sorted bank accounts out, pensions, I all did with no help. I was mums go to, the strong one. But now I’m not.

I’ve noticed I feel angry a lot recently.
It’s wrecked my relationship with my partner.
I’m snappy with my mum.
And I cry sometimes infront of my kids.

I don’t think it’s just grief I’m feeling, I think it’s trauma.
I start counselling next week.


I’m sorry for your loss and the experiences you have had around it.

The main thing is that you have recognised how you feel and why. It’s a big step admitting all this so well done. It’s not easy

It’s amazing that you are starting counselling next week. You need to keep the appointment and remain open to the dialogue that happens. You are going in the right direction, it certainly is a trauma and you have started to reconcile it :heart:


@Shelb so sorry for your loss and experiences since that dreadful day. Its so encouraging that you have realised that the drink isnt helping and you are cutting it back but also realising and asking for help, that is the hardest part. I had 8 counselling sessions through my work place, they were tough and there were some weeks that i dreaded them but i realised that they were very beneficial and i was actually gutted when the sessions ended.

You do need to be strong but you also need time to heal you, self care is so important, remember that you have been through trauma too.

I find this site so helpful in realising that im not alone in how im feeling and that people here are going through the same. We are all here for each other.
Sending love :heart:


Hi, sorry for the pain of your loss, it’s awful. You have suffered a terrible shock and the grief is brutal. It’s understandable to cling onto things that might take away the pain for a while, so don’t feel guilty about the drinking. The fact you’re now doing something about it is a positive step. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to adjust to the shock that you’ve suffered. Take care xx


Thank you. This site is very helpful with support as I feel I can’t talk to anyone else xx