Sudden loss of son.

My handsome, 33 year old, healthy son, contracted Covid June 28th. He died 14 days later July 13th.
It was so fast.
My last words to him, as he went in an ambulance, were I love you… It’ll be OK, they’ll look after you. He was obviously scared but moreso because he was agorophobic.
It wasn’t OK. He was in pain, frightened and alone…we wasn’t allowed to visit
We was with him at the very end, thankfully.
We’ve had the funeral. Now what? There’s just emptiness.
With a birth there’s a baby… a new life.
A wedding there’s a new life to build.
A death… nothing… except memories.
I just have to ‘carry on’ apparantly.
Oh… and… “how am I” ? Plodding on is my usual reply, :pensive:

Just so… empty…

I’m so sorry you have lost your handsome son to Covid , a cruel and evil virus that has destroyed so many lives, I also lost my beautiful 30 year old daughter to Covid in December last year, I feel lost and empty all the time and to “carry on” is extremely hard, the pain is unbearable at times , all I can advise is to take one day at a time and if that is too much an hour or even a minute at a time , that’s all we can do .We live in a cruel and unfair world , our precious children were taken from us too soon , it’s heartbreaking :broken_heart::broken_heart:
I hope you can find a little peace in your day
Sending a big hug

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I’m so sorry sweetheart.
The pain is just so strong.
I have to be strong for my husband, son and daughter…but i don’t know how. Biggest hugs. X

Dear 80sdiva

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your son - my heart breaks for you💔.

I know your pain as so many parents here do. It is like nothing you’ve ever felt before- the worst agony. It’s so hard getting through each hour - take it gently and no one will be expecting you to be strong. It’s the shock along with the heartbreak that is such a weight.

My son died in October 2019, Henry. He was 30. I’m so grateful to have had him and love and think of him every day.

We are all here for you in your grief. Please keep posting.

Love and hugs to you and your family
Purple x

Thank you and sorry for the loss of your darling boy :broken_heart:

Sorry for the loss of your son, love and deepest sympathies are coming your way.
My son died suddenly, age 20 on May 10th. The pain is the most excruciating pain I’ve ever had


Sorry for your loss :broken_heart::heart:

How are you today 80sdiva?

Hi kjat I lost my son suddenly also in May and the pain is unlike any other bereavement I have experienced. Actually it is getting worse as every month is another month not seeing him. I cry every day when I am on my own and no one can see me , I just have to turn into this site when I can’t cope anymore as it is only people on here who can understand , and I don’t want to drag friends and family down . How are you coping now? I hope you are finding the site helpful to. Hugs jss

Hi Jss,
Sorry to hear of your loss, please accept my most heartfelt condolences.
I’m struggling to cope. My son had multiple health issues and I was his carer, friend, nurse, pharmacist, I adored his company and we were so close because of spending so much time together in a hospital room throughout his life.
I find the pain quite literally heartbreaking, I wake to the most awful chest pain, the grief sits like a concrete block on my chest. I struggle to make sense of why he’s gone, and have no answers - there will be an inquest by the look of it, covid has held back the time scale of when to expect any news from the pathologist.
My Sons headstone was put up on Thursday which was a cold hard slap of bitter reality.
I expect we all know what this feels like, there is no relief, no end and no time off from the pain we all feel x

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Thanks kjat, we were also very close ,he still lived at home such a kind gentle boy. Just had a heart attack in the house, no warning. I to have the bad pain in the chest and also knot in the stomach that stops me eating. The guilt is awful as well I feel being his mom and so close I should have been able to save him. I was sure I would die of a broken heart as people really do, but I am still here. I don’t know how you get through something like this, and you waiting for the pathologist report must be awful. Hope they find the cause Soon and that you can get Some answers X

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I’m so sorry for your experience. My son put his hand to his heart seconds before he passed, not in pain, he just said Mam my heart while we ate breakfast. Within seconds he passed away so I did CPR for 40 mins until the paramedics arrived. I feel as you do, I can’t believe I haven’t died of a broken heart yet. I wish I could tell you how to get through it.
It was my birthday the day after my son passed away and he had already written me a card and in it was a bookmark that says “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day” so every day I look for that something good, however small that may be. I do it for my son even tho it’s the last thing I feel like doing some days.
Sending you much love and light x

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Kjat oh my goodness that made me cry when I read about your birthday card. That must have been so hard for you. Yes I to did the CPR, I heard a bang from his bedroom and he was on the floor not breathing , it seemed to take ages for the paramedic to come, (not like on the TV )then he had to put all the PPE on. I still thought my son would be ok though. He was put on life support and it was awful we could not be with him , Covid situation is so cruel . All the what ifs And the I should have done this or that make it even harder to deal with. Hope you find something good in your day today.
Take care x

I’m so sorry that you shared an experience like ours. I told the paramedic K’s wishes, that he didn’t want to be put in a coma again. Not the easiest thing to say when you know the outcome is death but in my heart I knew he’d gone the second i started CPR.
How long was your son on life support? I found the pneumatic type cpr apparatus marks a bit upsetting, as I knew my Sons ribs were broken. He’d had a heart valve replacement in April and was healing from that, he’d recovered pretty remarkably until he had a vaccination. I think the vacc was too much for his body while it was healing from surgery and blood clots. None of the surgical issues contributed towards his death so the not knowing is pretty hard. I need to know why my beautiful son is gone.
The birthday card also contained a letter, telling me how much he loved me and what an amazing mam I was to him. I’ll treasure it always because to know I was loved as deeply as he was meant the world to me.
Hope you can find something good in today too,
I’m meeting my son’s 2 teaching assistants for tea so no doubt that will raise tears but alas, everything bring tears these days
Much love and light

Three days but he did not respond to anything they tried. It will be nice for you to talk about your son with his teaching assistants , I Often learn something I did not know about my son when I talk to his friends, which i find comforting . X

Sending you love and a comforting hug. You’re in my thoughts Jss

Still struggling. X