My dad died suddenly after a long chronic illness. How can it be sudden if he was ill? Well it was. No one thought we were at the point yet, when it happened. He’d became exceptionally unwell, as he had been on a few occasions and ultimately he recovered those times. I thought it’d just be like that. And I struggled a lot thinking, is sudden loss worse or better. Well I think I’ve concluded that it is neither. I like to think that my dad went into hospital thinking he’d get better. And I really hope he didn’t know that he was going to die. Imagine been given a timeframe on your death. I’d hate that for him. I’d hate him being stuck in a hospital/hospice with him knowing it was the end soon. Just waiting. Getting increasingly worse as the days and weeks go on. He would have hated not being at home in his final days too. So I think with that in mind, suddenly was the best thing for him. Though it affected me terribly. I just went out one day, said “I’ll see you later” and I did see him later, just he never saw me. I don’t know if having a warning would have prepared me better for losing him or not. But it’s one of those questions that will never be answered. I’m glad it was somewhat quick for him. Though he’d struggled those previous months, I do believe there was still so much of him left and I didn’t have to watch him fully deteriorate. And I hope he didn’t realise what was about to happened. Suddenly losing him broke me terribly. But I strongly believe from his POV it was the best outcome.
Hi @Partyypoison,
I’m so sorry to read about the sudden loss of your dad - the way you are feeling is completely understandable. I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us.
You might also find it helpful to take a look at our Bereavement Information pages which can help to walk you through some of what you are going through.
Keep reaching out and please know you’re not alone.
Take care,
Naoise
My husband had his first heart attack age 44 very young , and put on medication from that day , any pain in his chest he would alway think “here we go again ,” He would alway say “he wouldn’t make old bones “ his words
BUT on the day of his second fatal heart attack age 65 , the symptoms were totally different from the first one , he didn’t know he was going to have another heart attack he passed out first and had a heart attack at my feet , he had CPR on the living room floor, then surgery to remove a blood clot , and two days in icu , where thy had to turn off the life support , my only comfort was “he knew nothing “ one min he is talking to me the next he has passed out , he would of been frightened if he knew he was having another heart attack , he was conscious for the first one , although I never expected to be a widow at 56 , I loved him so much at least he hasn’t got to miss me the way I do him x