Sudden loss

I’m struggling to cope with the sudden loss of my lifelong partner and with it all our plans for the future.
This was going to be our first real year of retirement after a couple of years of difficult family problems.
I can cope with the practical matters, I drive, I’m good at paperwork and I’m ok financially.
What I can’t cope with is my partner losing his life at , losing the life that we both lived and loved together.
I’ve spent a lifetime working, studying, volunteering and don’t want to do any of these again.
Has anyone tried bereavement counselling ? did it help?


I was so saddened to read your post about your partner and that it was so sudden. I have heard very good things about bereavement counselling although have not tried this myself. What I would say is that if you want to do this see your Doctor as soon as you can as I understand there are often long waiting lists to get the referral for counselling. There is nothing worse than having to wait for something you need badly particurly as such a sad time for you.

I lost my Mum in 2016 and like you had worked all my adult life and volunteered for over 30 years. I have carried on working part time which seems to work for me at the moment. I need the money anyway!

With the volunteering I cut back on it at first thinking I wanted to give it all up completely but I haven’t. My Mum volunteered with some of the same groups as me and the support I have received from other volunteers since has meant a great deal to me. I live alone so continuing with my voluntary work makes me go out and attend meetings and mix with other people. I chair one group and the first meeting I chaired after Mum was awful. I dreaded it until I walked in and a wave of kindness and sympathy met me. I attended a meeting of that group earlier this week and that support from people is still there. I know now that my fellow volunteers are not just that they are friends and I value their company.

Take care of yourself. I am sure others can advise you more about the counselling than I can.