Sudden Loss

Hello everyone who has suffered a sudden and unexpected loss.
Reading different threads on this forum I’m amazed at how many have lost their partner’s suddenly. Until it happened to me I’d never given it a thought.
Some, when you were away holiday which must be even worse.
After 17 weeks I still can’t believe it’s really happened, I feel as if I’m in a terrible dream and I’ll wake up and life will be normal again.
At 65 and the start of our retirement together my whole life disappeared in 4 short hours and I dread the years ahead.
I’m seeing a counsellor but I’m not sure it helps.
Can anyone who’s been through the shock of this traumatic grief help?
Do you feel the same as I do ?
Is there anything that helps you?
Love to all of you. Jx

I understand your grief as my wife and soulmate passed away two weeks ago after a fairly short illness. She died one day before our 15th wedding anniversary. I now know from personal experience what it feels like to have your heart ripped out with the blackness of unbelievable grief. There will be times when you weep. There will also be times when the grief appears to subside and you then feel a bit guilty at what you think is ‘feeling normal’. These are all part of the cycle of grief that we go through. What brings me comfort is that I believe my sweet soulmate is now an Angel and is with me every step I take, every word I speak, every tear I shed. There are no words to describe what we are going through. If you can spend time with a trusted friend and just have them listen to you, it does, in my experience, help. The saying ‘a burden shared is a burden halved’ sounds a bit trite but I have found it is true. My heart goes out to you and I send you many blessings that you will find times of comfort.

Hi J ,
I have just joined as was hoping to find someone who feels like I do , my partner died suddenly,we had been apart a while ,but we we’re just starting to talk again and txt …which was great ,then I get a call from his son telling me he had died …heart attack …I feel confused ,angry , alone , sad ,scared …he was only just 53…I keep thinking it’s a bad dream …been three and a half months now …

For me I find talking to his photo helps me …I have loads of tears ,I ask him to help me …I believe if there is away for him to help me he will …the spiritual side …always seeing feathers in my path …

I want to say ,think happy things , but feeling as low as we do …it’s not that easy is it , sue

If it’s any consolation I truly know how you feel no magic cure nothing anyone says can make it any easier only time will help.
I lost my husband over a weekend 2 yrs ago in June he was only 57 the light of my life we were together 30 yrs I miss him everyday it gets a little easier with time and the help of good friends and family. Wishing you all the very best. Pam

Hi I lost Corban to a sudden death age 35 years old. It’s been 14 weeks tomorrow and I’m not coping very well I had been with him the whole day and I went to work and he died at his home alone. He had been fine the whole day. I tried counselling but it hasn’t helped yet. I saw Corban every day and he messaged instantly back all day every day. I feel like I haven’t fully accepted how has gone yet I still think I’ll wake up and it won’t be real. I very much don’t want to carry on without him. X

Hello Pam
Thank you for your reply it dpesbhrlp tp knowbothers understand . I’m glad you’re finding things a little easier now. Jx

Hello ,
This sudden death at such an early age is so brutal. I’m not surprised you’re finding it hard tp cope.
Like you and Corban , my partner and I had spent the day together then he went out for a drink , less than 4 hours later he was gone. I find it so hard to believe what’s happened and I just can’t accept it.
I’m seeing a counsellor but it isn’t really helping me either, it just gives me somebody to talk to.

Life seems pointless now he’s not here , so I understand how you feel about carrying on without Corban, it justs hurts so much.
Take care, Jx