Hi im almost 6 months in to this awful journey.
My Husband had Parkinsons age 48 I lost him in April age 64.
I keep remembering him 10 years ago when he wasn’t too bad.
I have been reading through and can identify with lots, I feel numb, I spoke at funeral and some said they didnt know how i did it, then i feel as if folk see me as hard.
My Husband died within 2 hours of me leaving him, I was going to see our Son abroad,for a holiday, a 14 hour flight, I left hubby at a hotel for his sister to collect the next day.
I left him at 4 home by 6, at 8pm Hospital on the phone saying he had drowned in hotel pool, not been found for 28 mins and was left on life support, i had to get a cab back and said goodbye.
feel so bad if I hadn’t needed a break he wouldn’t have been dead.
I had to write down A …is dead the other day just can’t get my head around it still.
I too have had friends of 40 years not call and then say things that I addressed and not heard from them since.
Feel i am a bad person.
Hubbys Parkinsons was affecting everything, He had issues with a brain stimulater that caused personality changes, and it goes on and on, the last 6 years were not good but 36 were amazing.
I have elderly parents mum has dementia told my sister i can’t care for someone else so soon, she does loads but I’m still helping there, I don’t feel i have time to grieve.
Im not eating properly, don’t go to bed till early hours then can’t wake up, trying to work, support my Sons emotionally, support my parents and I want to shout who is looking after me!
So lonely, cry alot. Feel everyone’s world is turning and mine has stopped. I had some counselling but that has finished feel like I should be moving on but feel stuck abs its getting worse.
I have signed up for your
bereavement texts and they are spot on, as if reading my mind.
sorry but it’s really got me today , head such a muddle.
