I’m so sorry to hear you lost your Mum so suddenly in February, it must have been such a shock for you. It’s understandable that you’re struggling to cope at the moment and not sleeping very well either.
My Mum died 4 years ago and I was devastated, she was my best friend. It does get easier with time and you learn to adjust to a different way of living. She would always be the first person I would want to call if I had any exciting news or if I had a problem. I guess I’ve had to become more self-sufficient and independent.
I do understand what you’re going through, you’re not alone. My Dad and I sorted through my Mums clothes together. I too was dreading it. It was a bit of a surreal experience. We were absolutely ok one minute, then 1 of us would start crying, then we’d be laughing about something funny my Mum had said or done. We just rolled with whatever emotion came over us.
Try not to put pressure on yourself and try to be kind to yourself. It’s good to have a focus of 4 small people but it’s also important to focus on yourself. I remember having to make a real effort to eat properly, not just soup, toast & cereal. It’s also important to treat yourself along the way - I love candles so I would always make sure the first thing I did when I got home was to light a really lovely smelling candle & sit down with a cup of tea. Small things can provide a sense of comfort.
Please keep talking to us, we’re always happy to listen & take care for now. Trudy x