Sudden passing of my Dad

Losing a parent
#1

Hi.
My Dad had a heart attack and died 5 weeks ago. He was 84 but although had given us the odd health scare over the years was in good health and much more active than the usual 84 year old. I really thought he would be around for another 10 years as my grandmother lived till the age of 99. We scattered his ashes today and i feel like i’m back at day 1. My mum just retreats to my sister’s house and they comfort each other but i have little ones and have to come home to do school run etc. Just want to sit on a mountain and scream where no one can hear me…
I’m going back to work next week to try and get back to normal. I’m drinking too much too and need to stop that.

Is there light at the end if the tunnel?

#2

Hi,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your dad 5 weeks ago and that you’re having such a tough time at the moment. Losing a loved one is such a painful experience at any age, especially when they have been in good health. It must be difficult for you to see your Mum and sister comforting each other while you feel on your own. There are loads of really supportive people in the community who will understand what you’re gong through. You aren’t alone on here.

Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel, it can take a bit of time to shine though. Grief is different for everyone. Sometimes you want to cry, sometimes you want to shout, sometimes you’re not sure what you want to do. Try to be gentle with yourself & just let whichever emotion wants to surface.

I went back to work the week after my Mums funeral. It helped me get back into a routine. I wouldn’t say anything was ‘normal’ again though, losing my Mum changed my world & I had to get used to that which took time. You will find what your new normal looks like too & there are lots of happy times there.

I also drank too much. I think from your comment you already know that alcohol only helps in the short term & numbs the emotions. They will come out at some point. Try to look after yourself & eat healthy food. I know having children means that time for yourself is in short supply but you are important too.

Please keep talking to us on here & take care. Trudy x

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