Suddenly feeling a lot worse

I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling so much worse: I think I was just in shock to start with. I made a post here not too long ago with some context explaining how I lost my best friend of 8 years in october, and how a coule of weeks before he passed he had committed a serious sexual offence against me. At first I felt incredibly angry about what had happened and was determined to live well out of spite, but now looking back it feels a lot like I was trying to bottle up emotions, because I really do miss him. He was there for me through the worst times of my life and I trusted him so it just seemed so alien that he’d be capable of such a thing and I feel as though I didn’t really know him at all. And now I feel sick seeing people I know saying what a good man he was, and then I feel angry with myself for hating someone who meant so much to me.

I have no idea if how I’m feeling is normal or not. I cry every day and have little to no focus on anything; it is affecting every aspect of my life and i can’t help but feel I am overreacting. How long does feeling like this last?


Oh wow what a traumatic situation you are dealing with. Im not surprised you are feeling what you’re feeling. I don’t know the circumstances of his death and whether his behaviour and offence was related but i urge you to seek professional support to help you process your emotions and to heal. I am sending you love and my very best wishes. X

Thankyou so much for the well wishes it means a lot. I am currently on a waiting list for support, but as you can imagine, it’s going to be a long wait.

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