I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling so much worse: I think I was just in shock to start with. I made a post here not too long ago with some context explaining how I lost my best friend of 8 years in october, and how a coule of weeks before he passed he had committed a serious sexual offence against me. At first I felt incredibly angry about what had happened and was determined to live well out of spite, but now looking back it feels a lot like I was trying to bottle up emotions, because I really do miss him. He was there for me through the worst times of my life and I trusted him so it just seemed so alien that he’d be capable of such a thing and I feel as though I didn’t really know him at all. And now I feel sick seeing people I know saying what a good man he was, and then I feel angry with myself for hating someone who meant so much to me.
I have no idea if how I’m feeling is normal or not. I cry every day and have little to no focus on anything; it is affecting every aspect of my life and i can’t help but feel I am overreacting. How long does feeling like this last?