Hello everyone,
I lost the love of my life on the 22 August.
My husband hadn’t been ill at all and I left him at 10am to go to the local supermarket to buy some prawns as he fancied a prawn salad. He txt me at 10.19 to ask me to get some juice and at 11:05 when I returned home, he was gone. I knew as soon as I saw him sitting on the kitchen floor, green in colour and with glassy eyes and blue lips. He had soiled himself too. My heart broke and I tried desperately to give cpr through the screams and the tears.
My daughter 31 and youngest son 19 both saw me desperately trying to bring him round, then watched as paramedics tried too.
I am just lost, I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t seem to do anything. I used to shower every day but now it’s all I can do to get out of bed. I just want to close my eyes and be with my husband.
This is the worst experience anyone of us will ever experience Mt husband suddenly died bur slowly he closed his eyes for an afternoon sleep z d never woke up again until he died at 8.30 the following morning two days before this Easter I am still in a state if unbearable pain and disbelief
Sending you love. My advice is to get through a day hour by hour at first. So what if you don’t want to shower atm. What you came home to is sitting in your head going round & round. Would you consider talking to your GP to arrange a referral for counselling or mental health support? I truly feel for you. I hope you start to feel a little better very soon. Xx
You have been through a terrible ordeal, everyone’s worst nightmare, so it’s not surprising you don’t want to do anything. I was bad enough without the horror of actually seeing my poor husband lose his battle for life (it was a friend from his football who is a Dr who was trying to revive him.)
Don’t expect too much of yourself and only do what you can manage each moment of each day. Maybe one day you will find it a comfort to think that for your husband it was in a place he was happy, looking forward to something nice. I know it helps me that my husband was doing something he loved, in playing football, and he probably didn’t think he was going to leave us; just that he didn’t feel right and needed to get to the hospital to find out why.
I don’t know how to give you words of comfort; I wish I could. Both of us have had the terrible shock of sudden unexpected loss, and it is just dire. I don’t want to face each day. I just want to curl up into a ball and not move. My world stopped when Dave died, the world itself still turns, but not for me. I have children, grand children and a new baby granddaughter, who Dave missed by 18 days. I have to stay here for them, I am just not sure how to live through the pain.
I understand what you are saying I have to be here for my grandchildren, but I don’t want to be here all alone and lonely and feeling useless and lonely
What an awful thing you had to endure. My husband was at work when he died very suddenly not even 2 months ago. First I knew was a policeman coming in our company office and just telling me he had died. I was devastated the next thing was seeing him laid on someone’s landing wrapped and covered in his plumbing dustsheets …I had to uncover his head to hold his face and give him a kiss. Just like that he was gone. I hurt so much and my son who is a doctor just is devastated too …why did we not see the signs of a heart attack…a stroke we don’t even know what it was. I feel for you x