Hi, I’m new here and really struggling at the moment. I lost my mum whom I was really close with suddenly 4 weeks ago. The pain is unbearable and I feel very alone. I’m married but my husband try’s his best but he’s had his own grief loosing his father a few months ago to a long term Illness.
It’s soo bittersweet because my mum had got the all clear from the hospital and she had a massive internal bleeding from an ulcer. This happened a week prior and my brother and me were able to get her an ambulance and she had a weeks stay in hospital. A week later she was dead…the guilt I feel is immense, I went back to work so did my brother as things were on the up and I wish I’d went with my gut and took some more time off to be with her. My mum was such a hardy woman and fiercely independent, hated doctors and hospitals and when I seen her the day before she died she said her tummy was a little sore but tomorrow was a new day and she’d pull herself together.
That day will forever haunt me, police ambulance ect as it was sudden in the house. I just don’t know how I carry on with out her. I’ve been off work 5 weeks but I will go back in a week which is overwhelming.
Sorry for the long message but I’m just soo low at the moment and lost, hurt, sad and struggling to get my head around her death.
Thank you for reading 
