I have been doing so well, even feeling happy some days. Then I heard Dire Straights Romeo and Juliet (our first dance at our wedding in 1984) and it’s almost like I have only just realised I have the rest of my life without him. I’m 60 and that means I may have 25 years + without him. He could drive me mad at times and he was sometimes really grumpy but he was mine and we had been together for 43 years , since school.We had so much planned for our retirement and now suddenly he has gone. I’m pretty sure my brain still hasn’t processed that he walked out of our house on a warm June morning and an hour later he was dead. He wasn’t ill, he was fit, didn’t smoke or drink but he had a massive “widow maker” heart attack. Life goes on and I have done my best to be positive and kept busy but today I just feel awful. I am going to make myself a cup of tea and find a film to watch and I will be ok. In fact just typing this has helped, so thank you for reading xx
Dire Straits - love them. I can’t think that far ahead. I’ve lost so many people I love and even thinking that I will never see them in this life again is too much for me.
I am in denial. I think. I’ll have to google it.
I am sorry that you are suffering and missing him so. I wish you peace.
Am just sending you a hug
Hello, I am also 60, I lost my husband 6 weeks ago suddenly, he was only 55 went into hospital with pneumonia and deteriorated and never came home, I to am trying hard to carry on, meeting friends and family who all seem to want to make sure u eat. Sometimes I feel numb and really cant grasp that he will never come back, I feel like I just go through the motions. All I can do is share my feelings and like many people on here hope as we get through each day and hour things will get better. Sending u a big hug. X
Your story is so like mine.
On a warm July afternoon my husband of 42 years walked out to play walking football and died on the pitch.
It’s so hard to imagine the years that I have left without him, I literally feel like part of me is missing, I don’t feel like the same person anymore.
Sending love,and hugs, that’s what I miss . the hugs. Xxxx
I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry for your loss.
I was widowed 7 weeks ago in almost the same circumstances. We were young early 70s , married 49 years and planning our next funfilled years of retirement. My fit and healthy husband like yours just died. He was here one moment and then …We were supposed to be going on a cruise later that week and all our children were with us to celebrate our anniversary.
Like you Ive tried so hard to be positive , my children and grandchildren are amazing but the realisation of what happened and the shape of my life for the next 2 decades fills me with apprehension.
I feel very lonely in spite of being surrounded by people and love.
Its hard , im trying to keep going when life has been suddenly turned upside down. Yes it helps writing. My very best thoughts to you on this journey ahead. Love Heartsand
Thank you for the hugs, and yes I miss the hugs too. It’s the sudden loss isn’t it - I think part for brain just doesn’t accept it . Some days i feel really positive but those might be days when I would have been on my own anyway (if that makes sense) We didn’t do everything together, we had our own things and friends as well as all the things we did do together. I think that helps although it might be encouraging my widow brain to think “he’s volunteering” “he’s gone out for a walk” or even “he’s upstairs in the bath” . He had been my rock through all the stuff life throws at you as you get older and now there’s panic that he won’t be doing that anymore. Mind you I am incredibly lucky that we are a close family and one daughter is currently living with me, I see the eldest several times a week as I do the school pick up and the middle daughter loves to FaceTime me usually when I’m in the middle of something! I see lots of our much adored grandchildren too and everything has made me realised how blessed I am with supportive friends.
Anyway off to visit the grave today so there will be tears!
Hope you all have a good day (and my apologies for babbling!) x
Hearsand that sounds very similar to my circumstances as we were due to go on holiday 3 days later to celebrate our 40th anniversary (he died on 25th, our anniversary was on 30th)
I feel like I’m lying when I tell people we were married for 40 years as technically we weren’t! It sounds like you have lots of support like I do but nothing can “replace “ our loved ones. One of my grandchildren asked me the other day if he would get another grandad (he is 8) I asked him what he meant and he said that I would always be married to grandad and he didn’t want me being with anyone else! I laughed and said it’s highly unlikely! Sending a hug and best wishes for the week ahead x
Oh bless you, I understand. My husband died 36hrs before Christmas day. I panic thinking of the rest of my life without him. Sending hugs.
I think we are on the same page and our stories are similar. Its not just the losing of a really loved one which is bad enough but the suddeness and trauma of how it happened.
So 2 traumas to deal with as well as an immediate anniversary and a cancelled holiday.
Yes my grandchildren cheer me up so much and I can smile with them. The 6 year old told me he is making a husband shop as I dont like being on my own but he will wear different clothes to grandpa but have the same voice and he will mow the grass so you can have a day off grandma!! I dont know what this little one is thinking . Hugs to you . Heartsand
How lovely is that! My 8 year old granddaughter is always talking about Grandad, I think she thinks it will cheer me up. I am really dreading the next couple of months.
Feel for you. I lost my beloved hubby nearly 2 years ago and still my brain will not properly accept he’s never coming back. I’m 78 but at the moment a week or sometimes a day is a struggle to get through without him. That closeness can never be replaced. I try to loose myself with tele, a good book or walk in the park, but it is very hard. Wish there was someone close I could meet with who properly understands as though I know it’s not the case, it appears that everyone else seems to have someone. Take care x
My lovely husband died suddenly at 61 two days before retirement, 3 days after my 60th birthday. Wow it’s hard. So many extremely painful memories, so many plans for the future that will never happen. He was fit, healthy, didn’t smoke etc. massive heart attack out of the blue. It is a comfort to know I’m not the only one, but yes the thought of being around for another 20-30 years fills me with sadness, panic and anxiety. He was my rock and we were looking forward to growing old together, I find it so hard to believe he’s gone. My heart it’s breaking