My lovely son Andrew died 20th March and I just don’t know how I’ll ever, ever cope with losing him. He was only 38, had a good trade ( gas heating engineer), his own beautiful flat and his beloved dog Ash. My home, his childhood home is less than 10 minutes drive from his flat. We shared the same hobby , metal detecting and I called round to his that morning as we were due to go out together…
As usual I let myself in, thought it was strange that Ash didn’t come charging down the stairs as he usually would…then realised the door at top if stairs was still closed. I went upstairs, walked down to my sons bedroom door, glanced in and thought…typical…he had over slept. Noooo…he wasn’t asleep, he looked asleep but he wasn’t breathing.
I went into a complete panic, dialled 999, did everything pulled him off bed, did heart compressions until the paramedics arrived but it was too late.
How can I live without him?
We were so very close, he loved being outside in the fields, we used to see deer, red kites, buzzards, hares…loved every minute. Laughed at everything…he made fun of me while I was driving but we just laughed at ourselves.
How can this be real??
I called my ex husband, Andrews dad, and he arrived after the paramedics had left. We’re on good terms, all three of us used to detect together some days. He is heart broken…I’m heartbroken…how can life be so cruel. He was our friend as well as our son…he was his dogs best friend too.
Sorry to run on but I just keep looking out at the sun and the birds in the garden and thinking that he should be here enjoying the day. I look at people walking along the street and think “why are they alive when he’s dead!!??”.
Suedav, how sad and I feel for you, it must be heartbreaking to lose your son and so very young. I can only say how sorry I am and I do hope you find some sense of peace knowing you are not alone. Everyone on here as lost someone special and that includes sons. The hurt and loneliness is new so please take things slowly but most of all look after yourself. I know that feeling of seeing others and thinking why and it like a dagger each time it happens. Take care and we are always here for you and I am sending you love and blessings. S xxx
Dear Sue, so many of us on here understand your devastation at the loss of your lovely boy.
There is an established thread on here, ‘loss of our son aged 27’, that has been going a few years now and is a community of the loveliest kindest people who know just how you feel.
Perhaps you would like to post there? I accidentally started a new thread but that wasn’t what I wanted. This group are the best.
Love and hugs, Ann x
I lost my beautiful daughter on Christmas Eve and I am beyond heartbroken. I also look at others and think why are they alive and my girl has died and I feel guilty about these thoughts so glad others feel the same xxxx
Hi Elizabeth,
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, it’s heartbreaking. I am somehow getting through each day but it’s so hard. I’m also glad I’m not the only one feeling the way I do about other people just living their lives when Andrew isn’t.
One of his close friends has been round tonight for a chat and tells me he has exactly the same thoughts.
I know it’s still early days for us. It doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. …in fact at the moment each day feels worse than the previous day 
Love Sue xxxxx
Dear Elizabeth
Sadly we on here know just how you feel.
I lost my daughter exactly two months ago today. I love her so much, as you love your beautiful girl. They’ll always be our beautiful babies.
I can’t say anything to take your pain away. Some days are better than others and some days I can feel the joy she brought to our lives and thank her for being my daughter.
Today, two months on, is not one of those days.
But we on here will send you our love and support.
Love 
and hugs 🫂
Ann xx