Suicide loss

I’m reaching out here as my partner unexpectedly ended his life a few months ago. I’ve been looking for support groups in my local area, but due to covid there’s just nothing running sessions in person, so I’m hoping to be able to connect here instead?

I suppose it’s just a really tricky time of year with everything focussed on the joy of Christmas, spending happy time with loved ones etc etc, and I feel like I’m just floating above everything in a state of numbness. Because everything about my life and future has changed so drastically, and I don’t feel anyone around me will understand? I feel very numb a lot of the time, but the sadness and sense of loss is becoming more real now. I just wondered whether anyones experienced loss through suicide, and whether there’s a point when the shock subsides and raw grief kicks in? I’ve been warned to expect it! Or could this numbness just be a new norm for me after everything that I’ve experienced?

I’d really value any advice or feedback that you can give if you’ve also experienced this type of loss? Many thanks xx

Dear @MaryT

Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry about the loss of your partner. You are bound to feel numb and experience a wide variety of strong emotions. This is part of the grieving process and is normal.

I would like to guide you to an organisation called Sudden. They provide support after a sudden death and have useful resources to help someone in your situation.

Hope this helps. We are here for your always. Please take care of yourself.

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Hi Mary T , I can’t imagine what you are having to go through. I lost my son suddenly (but not to suicide )in May and it is awful. You have such a lot to come to terms with. You will have so many questions and no doubt guilt feelings which are the worst I think. I was pretty numb for the first few weeks as I was sorting the funeral and in some sort of denial. Now 7 months later and with Christmas I am barely functioning and can’t see it ever getting better, but others say it does.
If you type in suicide at the top of the page with the red search sign you will get lots of threads where others discuss suicide of loved ones. Hope you can find the help you need there.
For now just keep breathing . Jss

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Hi I lost my youngest son to suicide 5 years ago now it still feels like yesterday and because of the circumstances I also don’t get to see his children so Christmas is really not for me anymore I miss them all so much x

Thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate them. Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas xx