I tragically lost my ex boyfriend/best friend to suicide a couple of nights ago its taking a lot of energy for me to write this, I had an awful argument with him before he did it that night and he sent me heartbreaking voice messages before he did it telling me he loves me and he called me 20 times. I didn’t answer them. I am struggling extremely badly and I am honestly heartbroken I have no words to describe this pain I feel incredibly guilty. I am now struggling with my mental health hearing his voice and seeing disturbing images in my head it’s so hard to cope with. Any advice or help would me so much appreciate.
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Hi Abby, I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend, I can understand why you feel guilty, but you mustn’t , this wasn’t done on the spur of the moment, he had obviously thought and planned it, I think you would benefit from speaking to someone, please phone the Samaritans , they have experience in this and hopefully will be able to help you, sending love Jude xx
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Thank you yes I think I will do that I definitely need to speak to someone thank you for the reply x
I am so sorry for your lost im going threw a lot off pain also I lost my partner whos only 31 to sudden death a month ago no goodbye no nothing I was spking to him half hour before he died the pain I feel is unbearable me n him use to have arguments I so wish I could turn back time an it keeps going round n round in my head you never know when its going to be the last time im heartbroken 
I am so sorry 
it helps to know we are not alone with this pain. It is absolutely tragic I hope you find Peace in moments like I do. I totally unstand the pain it just isn’t fair.
We are going threw the same pain its unbearable got his little girl who’s only 1 to bring up also its so difficult
Stay strong for her
I’m trying its so hard we still don’t know wat caused his death
I understand, I will never know the reason for my boyfriend either
How will we ever move on it seems impossible 
It does we will just have to take each day as it comes that’s all we can do
Anknow we will I’ve got his funeral soon
Me too just know that I will be going through the same feelings as you on the day
Anknow you will be the only people that understand our pain is the ones that go threw it its going to be the hardest days off our lifes but I know he’s looking down on me n his daughter an he will be looking after my son ordy in heaven hope you will be ok cos me I don’t know if I can cope im trying an its my kids that get me threw each day I also got a tattoo on my wrist off him x
I am also getting a tattoo on my arm too in a couple of weeks 
I hope it gets easier for us
It will do just takes time whens the funeral my partners funeral 22nd
I’m not sure yet
I’m heartbroken for us both i found my partner dead had to identify his body that sticks in my head an wish I was with him when he died so he new how much I love him an im going to him this week im scared