I’m new her found it by accident. I lost my amazing husband of 29 years on July 4 he was only 53 and we still had so many things left to do. We found out on June 17 he had stage 4 lung cancer and before I could even absorb it he was gone. I feel like 1/2 of me is missing and I don’t even know how to begin putting the pieces of my shattered heart back together because I know when I do 1/2 of it will still be gone. We were just In the next stage of our lives empty nesters and he was so looking forward to this time he said so he didn’t have to share my attention with the kids and he could have it all again. Now for the first time in my life I have found myself alone. Most days I can fake my way through it pretty good but never on Sunday’s that was our lazy day we didn’t rush we got up late had coffee in bed and just enjoyed each other’s company it was my favorite day of the week now I just dread it.
Hi Cheri,
Sorry you find yourself here in your life. I lost my dad around the same time as your husband. My mom is in a similar situation. Sundays were their day together. She found my father had passed in his sleep on a sunday morning. He was fit, healthy, fun guy. It was such a shock.
She tries to fill her sundays with activities out of the house to distract herself. Its been a struggle and I honestly do not know how she is getting herself motivated, but she does, and its worth it. If you can come up with something to do on Sundays or get away to a friend’s or visit with one of your kids, it will probably help navigate that particularly tough day.
Ell
Thank you for your ideas. I may give that a try. Sorry for your loss as well. Ours to was a shock David wasn’t sick until he was sick. Our daughters boyfriend said it best when he said that David was a big presence the one who mad us all laugh and that presence is missed.
Hi Cheri
The more I read about people’s experiences the more I realise how medicine is still backwards - how much we don’t know - my husband was also fit, strong and very healthy until we found out he had stage IV lung cancer . Also there was not much that could be done - we tried all we could - the lung cancer itself was never much of a problem - his breathing was fine but he had secondary cancer in the spine and he became unable to walk a week after the diagnosis!!! He also died very quickly after diagnosis
All this was 15 months ago - now it is not so raw but it is very painful
As you I find weekends really hard - yesterday I was looking for workshops/ groups/ courses that meet on a Sundays.
I go to the gym on weekends but…
Like you I never lived alone and I died when Jack died - now I am a different woman that has lost her joy and and enthusiasm for life.
My family is very supportive but they can’t make me company all the time and I wouldn’t want it anyway
I miss him terribly and time if anything increases the pain of memories and situations - I miss his physical presence, having my hand held, been kissed , felling as a woman!! I am many things now (mother, daughter, grandmother but the the person that saw me and touched me as a woman is no more!!)
I am probably not helping much but I hope it comforts you to know you are not alone finding Sundays difficult
Sadie x
Hi cheri I lost my partner the same way he got his diagnosis on the 11of June told it was stage 4 lung cancer and it had spred he made it to the 13of July. He was told he would have months how rong thay were. Sunday are bad everyone is in cupples or so it semes to me I haven’t got the answer to that I tryd all sorts of things going for a long walk going to church it’s one of the most difficult days of the week I don’t have the answer I sorry but no your not alone in this.
I experience all the same things that you just described I also miss holding hands, cuddling being kissed and the way he looked at me. I just spoke with someone today that he worked with and they told me David adored you and always talked about me and how lucky he was to be with me. I knew all those things and I miss that also. I ask myself all the time how could he be fine working hard 12-16 hours a day and then suddenly be sick and then gone? I’m sorry for your loss. David’s had spread also into his brain, and bones I knew about but our son is in the Marines and I had to contact Red Cross when it became clear he wasn’t going to make it the papers the hospital gave us for them said they believed it was in his liver and kidneys also. I hate cancer!
I think sometimes I look and see all the couples and think I’m the only one whose heart is broken and I feel alone. Sorry for your loss. It is so confusing isn’t it that it takes them so quickly
Hello Cheri, I too struggle with Sunday’s…well weekends in general. My husband and I used to plan all sorts of trips and activities. Since September when he died I have tried to plan things to keep me busy, but it’s exhausting on my own so yesterday I planned a quiet day at home…it was a rotten day, I felt miserable all day and couldn’t lift my mood. I know I need some quiet time to heal and grieve properly, but it’s the quiet times that are the hardest. Sorry, I’ve no answers fo you, just know you’re not alone…don’t know if you’ve seen the group WAY (widowed and young). They run local groups around the country with activities and days out…I’m considering joining for the times my friends are unavailable…
No I haven’t seen that group. I wish I had some magic words for you also you are not alone either. I