Well the Sunday club is open again,12 weeks,84 long days,84 sleepless nights,I feel worse now than I did earlier,family and friends have mostly gone back to normal,visits have dropped off just the occasional call or text,future is a foreign word now.
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Yes, I have been waiting for the Sunday Club doors to open since 6 am. Put the kettle on, somebody.
I have got so many husband-shaped chores to do, and can’t summon the energy to do anything.
I cut my arm last night, not looking where I was going and walked into the door catch. It’s not serious, but it did bleed a lot, and trying to sort it out with my left hand was difficult. He would have cleaned and dressed it for me. So, I was crying over a stupid little thing like that. Then when I woke up there was blood on the bedding, which means the bedding needs to be changed. Superking duvets are difficult to manage with two people doing it. So, no doubt more tears over another stupid little thing.
I feel a bit overwhelmed this morning. Trying to only do what has to be done and leave the rest, but they all have to be done.
Like you, the visits, phone calls and texts have tailed off. Almost everyone I know has gone away on holiday, not that I resent people enjoying life. But there isn’t much enjoyment in our lives right now.
I really hope and pray that everyone grieving gets some peace soon.
Xx
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This is a club of unwilling members who wish they were not members.
This afternoon it will be 20 weeks.
I don’t know how it has got to 20 weeks.
We were together for nearly 50 years.
50 years was not long enough,
20 weeks too much, 20 weeks too much.
I totally understand what has been written.
@Ron11 I recognise people drifting back to their lives.
Yesterday I read
‘Others don’t understand as their world did not stop when ours did’
so true.
@Willow112 there are so many times something has happened where my husband would have helped or dealt with it.
We have made it this far, we will get through today.
We will make it through tomorrow, next week, next Sunday.
Sending you both a big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
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We will make it- no one wants to be in this club but we are and we cannot change it so we have to be positive. I read Richard E Grants book A pocketful of happiness. It helps- to find one small thing each day that made you smile or you enjoyed. Something small.
It’s a pity we cannot group people in the same areas so we could do Sunday together. Having something to get up and look forward to helps enormously.
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Wouldnt that be great i am 5 weeks today 5 lonely hellish weeks. 5 weks ago at this time he was still here. I have never been a jealous person but omg how I am of couples that should have been us. Life is hard as i suffer agoraphobia. Ppl dont see how hard this is he was my support. I jeep thinking whats the point anymore. If this is my future they can keep it. I haven’t still been to bed. I doze on the sofa. I have never been alone before. I darent just lock up and go upstairs. Xxxx
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Like yourself nobody call except his daughter who lives over 200 miles away.
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Every day is just empty but Sunday’s always seem the worst! I think its because we all live such busy lifes that Sunday was the day you spent the most time together, just being together! Then when its just you on Sunday it becomes so clear they are not there & the loneliness is suffercating! Everybody else is just going about their normal Sunday & you want to scream! It feels like no one even notices your life has stopped & your world has stopped spinning! I now go most Sundays without speaking to a sole when I am crying out just to hear one voice! How is this now my life, how is this now our lives? This is not what we signed up to! I don’t remember ever saying when i’m 42 I want to be widowed!
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Aww Masset i am so sorry its awful to be part of this club. Everyones life going on as before only ours as stopped. Life is so very cruel. But they say its the cost of loving someone. I truly hope one day we will all be happy again. Xxx
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Thank u, me to, we don’t deserve lifelong membership to this club, no one does x
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Just over 4 months for me and still so painful. I still feel completely lost and have no idea what I will do with the future.
Tried yesterday to start some of the paperwork for Confirmation ( probate) and my brain just couldn’t make sense of any of it. I used to be quite smart but now the brain fog just stops me being able to deal with anything much before I become completely overwhelmed.
I’m trying to organise a walking trip with my daughter - we leave on Tuesday - but just keep procrastinating.
When I think about it I am an expert at procrastinating now !! At least I can do something well 
Hope everyone’s day gets a little easier as the afternoon passes.
Sending hugs all round xx
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Sending you a big hug xx
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Sending hugs this afternoon to all on here-I HATE SUNDAYS!!!
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Sending a big hug xx
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The tears really began to flow about 30 minutes ago.
So I lit a candle for my lovely husband.
It is a comforting thing for me xx
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.
I lit a second candle for other loved and much missed people. Please view it as being for those you have lost and are missing.
Love,
Rose xx
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So sorry for your loss. It is a lonely time . I had 41 years with my husband some tough times as well as happy and I know he would want me to live a happy life. Difficult but 17 months without him and I’m trying.
This group is so helpful. So we know we are not alone.
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I completely get what what you are saying, sometimes it feels like there is no space in your brain other than your heartbreak x
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Omg the brain fog i cant remember anything its all so confusing. Xxx
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Ty Rose i will those tears where do tgey all come from .xxx
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When the tears want to come nothing can stop them, doesn’t matter where u are, who u are with & they feel like they will never stop! I didn’t think it was possible to have so many tears! I have cried every day at least once since I lost my husband 8 months ago but this is the new normal for us all, we just have to learn to manage our hearbreak 
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