Its hard living alone, I’m on month 13 and have adjusted to my new normal. The worst bit is if you are ill. I got diagnosed with breast cancer in August and had my lymph nodes and a lumpectomy done. It hit me harder than I thought as nobody to look after me or say everything will be fine. But I am getting through it and find you adjust. You will have good days and bad days dont rush take baby steps and keep chatting on here it does help.
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I’m in month 15. First 12 months were hard but I could manage with just 1 care visit a day. Was just about ready to go to our local community centre to join a singing group. Then my knee collapsed. Can’t get in a car so have been housebound since. Upped care to 3 times a day. These are normally the only people I see apart from my cleaner/friend in a Thursday. Except according to nhs rules I am not housebound because I can get out the front door. Can just about get to end of path using my rollator if I manage to get it through the door and over the step. Can’t have ramp as they are only for full time wheelchair users. My life just gets harder. Most days now are bad. At least as first year was coming to an end I had some good days.
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Could you get a portable ramp, one thats not permanent from anywhere? My sister looked at one but she now lives in an assisted living flat in Chester so didnt pursue it.
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I could. Someone else would have to fit it. Once out what would I do. I did have a mobility scooter but where I live the roads and pavements are too narrow to be safe on one to get into town. The people who have moved up here sold their bikes as it is just too dangerous.
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It wouldn’t work if you can’t leave it outside, its a shame as things that are meant to help aren’t practical for everyone.
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It’s rubbish, isn’t it? My husband made lots of changes, building ramps, etc. Then we had a new, wider front door to get my daughter’s wheelchair in more easily. We swept the driveway free of gravel so she has a firmer footing when he helped her out of the wheelchair and into the car. We found a removable grabrail that attaches to the car door, etc. Now he isn’t here and I can’t take her out in the car because I can’t lift her wheelchair. I got her a lightweight chair but the day centre and respite centre will not accept it because it is not ‘prescribed by a clinician’. I understand their rules, but it doesn’t make life easy. I live down a country lane with no pavements, no street lighting, so I can’t even take her for a walk. We go out into the garden if it’s warm enough, but if the lawn is damp and soft the wheels get stuck.
We are fortunate because she goes to a day centre most days, so I can do the shopping, go to appointments and even meet a friend sometimes, but life is harder than it could be.
It is madness, if my son takes us out you would not believe how many times there is a drop- kerb or ramp on the side of the road, but not on the opposite side. Roadside disabled parking is often little use for wheelchair users because of the gap between the car sill and the kerb. The alternative is to get her out in the middle of the road and into her wheelchair, which is obviously insane.
Planning Department staff should be required to push a wheelchair around the town, with another member of staff sitting in the wheelchair. Or try and navigate the town centre whilst blindfolded. Sorry, rant over.
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We have the idiotic circumstance of no drop kerb opposite the cemetery and no kerb at all on the cemetery side. Very little parking available in the cemetery. If in a wheelchair or mobility scooter you actually have to go in the road to get there. My friends husband has MS. Her car is adapted with a hoist to lift the wheelchair. He is actually on our town council and I know is working like a mad person to improve access. They have recently been allocated one of these inflatable cushions to get you up if you fall.
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Its awful my sister is in a wheelchair, we bought her an electric one a couple of years ago ( i only went to see her for a coffee and came out over £800 lighter it was the dearest coffee I’ve ever had but worth it) i find if we go out either no dropped kerbs or cars are parked on the pavement so we cannt get past.
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Yes, people just never think about disability. It really annoys me when other people take one look at us, see we are moving slower than they want us to, so they nip in front. But it’s not just them, it’s everyone. So I spend all my time trying not to ram into people’s backs. You can’t stop as quickly when you’re pushing a chair and I can’t see through my daughter, so these impatient people end up with bruised legs. Then they shout ouch and blame me! Sometimes I just put my head down and push, regardless of anyone in my way. One person said I shouldn’t take a wheelchair to busy places. Bloody cheek! We have as much right as anyone else to go wherever we choose.
But there are also some very kind and helpful people out there, and one of them is worth a hundred of the idiots.
Xx
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Jo you’re right, it’s so hard to be able to enjoy things. I meet up with people but I’m not really there my mind is elsewhere,. We all just seem to be plodding along as best we can.
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Mbg that is awful. Are you able to go out? Can you join a club or group of some kind. You need some company and someone to talk to.
We do wooly we have too. I blunder from one hr to the next.
I couldn’t begin to tell you how many things I start but don’t finish. But I do try . Hugs zjo xxx
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I have switched off from the world. I never thought I would be affected in this way. Life was 100 mile an hour. I was a foster carer of 2 little girls,they had been with me 4 years. My partner of nearly 40 years died suddenly and everything just fell apart. I have 3 adult children. 2 live miles away. My youngest son 31 lives locally. He has been really good, but is struggling himself. I am not ready and don’t know if I will ever want to foster again. I am in this big empty house, with 4 dogs. I don’t recognise me.
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Dint know whether it is still the same but saw wonderful people in Venice. Soon after we were married we went in a coach trip to Rome, Florence and Venice. One of the travellers was in a wheelchair so Venice not ideal but she desperately wanted to see it. Some of us held back to help her at the bridges. We didn’t need to. As she and her husband approached any bridge 2 locals would just pick up her in the wheelchair and carry her across. Didn’t even break stride. The glass blowing place cleared its lift so she could get to the demo.
I agree it is so stupid to put a ramp one side of a road and not the other. Where do they think you are going?
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