It’s Sunday again. OK till 2 hours ago then David’s death 3 months ago hit me like a sledgehammer. A blubbering mess sat looking at his ashes. Life is so unfair. I can hear couples outside just doing ordinary things that we used to do. The fear of our 5th wedding anniversary scares me and even worse Christmas looming I just can’t cope with it all. How do people manage to get over a loss of a loved one.
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Hi Carol3,
I wish I had the answer. I had the windows open before but had to close them as I could hear people in their gardens and could smell the BBQs going. So sad.x
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We need a magic wand to send us back in time x
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Hi Carol . Sorry to hear of your loss.My husband’s name was also David and I am 3yrs down the line since I lost him. And I still hate Sunday’s but only if I’m not doing anything. So it’s important to try and keep busy so I painted the birdhouse and did some gardening. I totally understand where you’re coming from tho. Take care.
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@Carol3 My husband’s death was 4 months ago and I can relate to how you are feeling. My “can’t” do day is Friday and I dread it when I hear people say “enjoy your weekend”. We had so many plans that weekend and we never got to enjoy them and never will. Sad times for all of us on here and you are in my thoughts. x
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The week after my David died we were all booked up togo on a river cruise to Amsterdam (40th anniversary gift from the family).We were so looking forward to it. That’s all he spoke about before they put him in an indust coma. So sad we never went. The bag was packed ready togo.I am lucky in that I have two amazing son’s whom I’m very close to and four gorgeous grandchildren. But I still feel lonely at times.x
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That resonates with me! My Chris died 06.06am Friday 22/4/22, we used to love Friday and weekends! I cannot bear them now xx
@j.mstone Friday 15/04/2022 @ 08.30 I found Michael had died in his sleep beside me. Although he was 75 he was fit and healthy and we had spent the day before having lunch by the sea near our home in Cyprus planning what we were going to get up to at the weekend.
Like you I dread Friday’s and the weekends now. Wish they could be erased from the calendar. I try to do something at the time he died, even if it’s going for a walk as the pain is still so raw. xx
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It is like torture! I have been phasing myself back to work, I just struggle every damn day!
I feel so exhausted with everything, no taste to food, no joy or colour to life, you can never imagine a hell like this can you xx
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Hi . My hubby got the phone call on a Friday saying his cancer had spread . Following Friday hospital appointment . Talked about treatment . Not to cure the cancer . But maybe stop it spreading more. Following Friday he died . I hate every day now trying to live without him . But Fridays are the worse . We always loved a Friday . Week at work finished . Nice weekend together . Now Fridays just so sad and knowing it’s the beginning of a lonely weekend . Thinking of you all xtake carex
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@j.mstone it certainly is torture. Trying to just function every day is a battle in itself. I wake up at silly o clock every morning and I lie in bed with a knot in my stomach thinking how I am going to get through the day and thinking about life without Michael. I am flying back to our home in Cyprus on 1st September as I have been staying with family in UK for the last 8 weeks. I am absolutely dreading going back to an empty house filled with so many memories but he is buried in the village where we lived and I need to be near him.
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@Broken2222 I’m so sorry. I can feel your pain just reading your post. Any day of the week is hell for all of us but the actual day we lost our loved ones will forever be tinged with grief and sorrow. Thinking of you and look after yourself. x
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Please look after yourself, it is a very tough road we are on , xx
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I’m the same my husband passed away in his sleep 11 years ago now and I still wake up at 4am which was the time I found him and couldn’t wake him
He was only 52 and got and healthy but died of natural causes which I still find hard to accept
Hugs xx
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So if you hate certain days then get rid of them. My husband died on a Saturday morning and I found it so hard to cope on this day so I started to make plans for that day and any other anniversary that came along. I didn’t give myself time to get lost in thought. A day out, a bus ride (I do drive) a long walk in the countryside etc etc. I didn’t want family or friends to see my miserable face so I kept my company to my dogs who will forgive me anything and love me unconditionally. Now I look forward to my weekend and even weekday trips and my daily walks and don’t dread them any longer. Any day the pain can hit us but it’s up to us if we let the grief monster get a hold.
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John died on a Sunday morning almost 20 months ago. As a result, I really don’t like Sundays (especially at 10.25am). I’ve actually being doing the same thing as @Pattidot and keeping myself as busy as possible on both Sundays and anniversaries. People, who know I will be sad, usually want to meet up with me so I won’t be alone, and although it can’t ever take away the pain, the distraction helps get through another day.
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@j.mstone. I can relate. Eating is a major problem for me. Everything tastes like cardboard and I eat just for the sake of eating to be honest. Haven’t seen a doctor in 14 years as always fit and active and always ate healthily when my husband was here, but had to see a doctor last week as I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. ECG done and came back as normal, but blood pressure through the roof and severely underweight. Now on tablets for low folic acid levels and my blood count was also slightly raised. The doctor was very supportive and said the symptoms were to be expected at this time but emphasised that I need to focus on looking after my own well being or it could lead to serious medical problems in the future. My husband would be so sad and disappointed that I am struggling. There was a 14 year age gap between us with him being the older and we had had fleeting conversations about when the time came for one of us to leave and how we would cope alone. Looking back, those conversations now appear meaning less as nothing can prepare you when it does happen. I am now focusing on keeping myself well and having to force myself to eat as hard as it is. Please try and look after yourself as well. x
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Carol3
I don’t think we get over the death of our beloved. I think we develop mechanisms to cope with it and I guess it gets less raw. I was widowed 22 months ago and I did think in a couple of years I will forget this agony but it’s not like that in reality. I will never forget or stop missing him and everything about our life but I do deal with it much better than I did at first, I am still a work in progress. Best wishes to you.
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