Sundays are not always a good day for me …to many difficult memories still floating around …my husband was given three weeks when we left the hospital …the first two and half we laughed …we cried …we were together but those last few days were the most difficult…no body tells you about terminal agitation …and just in case meds …or the process of dying an anticipated death …on the Sunday 23rd Febuary I held his hand as I watched him slowly slip into unconscious…I watched as the grip on my hand as he held it slowly begin to loosen until he slipped away at 10 to 12 that evening …so you see Sundays are not the best of days …in fact Sundays will never be the same again , ironically next Sunday 5th will be our 40th Weddung aniversary …
Bab, I cried reading your post, why is life so cruel and sad. There’s so many people on here all feeling so much pain. Sunday is a hard day, for me, it was time together for me and my hubby, but Saturday is the worst, as it was the day my life was taken away forever.
My thoughts are with you x
Hello Stephtim…thank you for taking time to read and reply…I am sorry to hear you to are triggered by days and that weekends are a part of them for you also…triggers are everywhere for us all aren’t they . I get what you say when you say Saturday is worst for you …the day we lose our soulmates I think will be forever etched into our memories …sending you warmest of wishes …let’s try to take care of ourselves the rest of this weekend …let’s be kind in some way to ourselves …no matter how small this will be…
Same Saturday 9pm are awful Mick passed on our sofa holding my hands still smiling at me over past 3 months I hate Saturdays clock watch all day people say why do you sit on sofa at that time I still feel I have too don’t know why because I know I’m not always going to be at home on Saturdays when I go back to work .
Hi kim5…I do similar to you with the clock watching …but I have to go to bed as the time gets nearer to my husband passing …I guess it’s a way of staying in denial for me…I hope you find peace soon …in a strange way work has become a distraction …for me …my brain can switch off from the constant pain for a short time …
I am so sorry bab1, you have written a beautiful post.
Thank you …hope you keeping well Maryl
Unfortunately we all have our times. 28 may at 9pm even my calendar stopped at that date
Yes dates / times / places /words…the list can go on and on …some of these will always hold difficult memories …but I hope over time good memories of dates /times of all the happier times will start to flood back …in the meantime it is a comfort to know that others also are having same similar feelings around this to …I hope you soon find peace amongest the carnage that loss and grief leaves us all with
I now try not to relive my husbands last moments but my experience was so similar to yours of losing someone and watching them slowly slip away from you. Yes, we also managed to laugh in between his pain those last weeks. Those ‘just in case meds’. I shoved them to the back of the wardrobe. Because my Brian was going to get well again, what did I want with them. Our last meal together which he asked for was boiled egg and soldiers and the next day the Brian I knew was gone although still struggling to live. Saturday morning at 6.30a.m. was the day he went. I was alone with him at home. It was dignified, quiet and peaceful. I hated that day every week but I began to plan things so that I wasn’t at home lost in my thoughts and slowly I began to accept it as just another day. It was escapism but it did save me from a day of misery.
My thoughts go out to you, especially on Sunday.
Hearing your experience and how it mirrors my own …makes me realise how so many of us have a similar story to tell…I get what you say when you say the Brian you knew the next day had gone …I felt that my husband had left long before he drew his last breath…I would like to think he had gone onto a better place …and has just slipped on ahead for now …thank you for keeping me in your thoughts Sunday …sending you wishes for strengh through your loss of your Brian too.
Thank you for asking Bab1, the heat has affected 2 of my medical conditions. I try to go with the flow, I am glad I performed my rain dance, I should be so lucky, it takes me all my time to walk. It is a lovely cool night, instead of flying around on my broomstick, I am going to bed. I am sorry to appear to be moaning but it has really got to me, recently. Stan used to do so much for me, I have found it hard to cope alone. I do have a wonderful carer and another lady who comes to see me about twice per week, she is a volunteer visitor to sad old ladies like me. I will need someone to knock it into my head that I am an old lass. How are you, love? I feel for each and every one of you who are grieving so badly.
Take care, sweet dreams when you young ones hit the sack. I forget I shall be 81years old in August. Strewth. x x x I didn’t mean to write an essay.
Ahh Maryl…the heat can really challenge us at times we are so not used to it …and when you already have other medical conditions it can feel even more of a strain …its not moaning sharing how you feel …you seem far from an old lass as you describe you self …give yourself credit …getting to grips with this technology in itself is a task …but you do it and with style …you take care to …x
Thank you so much, Bab1, you are very kind. x x x x
This is so sad, Pat x x x