Support available at lonely times

I’m so pleased this online community is now live. There must be some people feeling alone and needing support. Night times can be difficult when friends/family members are asleep and personal anxieties race in one’s head. I hope as word of this service spreads, people will be able to know there is an online community who can encourage, advise and support.



I have only been on hear since earlier today, and already found it to be invaluable - Joe has been fantastic!

You are absolutely right, my mind seems to go into overdrive at night, just when you want to go to sleep - very frustrating. Daft as it may sound my GP recommended put a few drops of lavender oil on the pillow before going to bed. Didn’t think it would do anything and it don’t always, but does help a little sometimes.

Hi Pete
Yes, lavender has very calming properties. When my mind races in the night I sometimes get up and do something …even the ironing sometimes (!!!)…have a biscuit and warm drink…then back to bed and sleep is much easier. I was told it is because it distracts the mind and sleep can start afresh. Not necessarily scientific but it works for me.


Hi Elise

Doesn’t have to be scientific - if it works then that is the important thing. Sounds like a good idea to be honest and will give it a try.
Another thing I was told is that if you are going to read or the like at night, don’t sit in bed. Have a chair to sit in and read, even if it is in the same room, and keep the bed for sleep - probably all psychological, but helps the mind to differenciate.

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In my experience sleep is essential for coping with bereavement. Funnily enough if I do read at night I go through to the lounge and sit in a chair…maybe this is instinct?
Cutting down on caffeine during the day has also helped…and believe it or not…cutting down/out chocolate. Ouch!


Told to cut down the caffeine too, have cut out the coffee, haven’t got problem with that. But if there is one thing I can not give up its my cups of tea!! … Thinking of buying Decaf tea bags instead- are these actually any better??

I personally don’t like the taste of decaf tea. I know people who have switched from normal to decaf though and have never gone back - worth a try!

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Mmm, not tried the decaf tea myself but have friends who really like it. Then of coure there’s always the herbal teas such as camomile…

Perhaps, when this online community is established, there may be some people who come online during the night, for support, as it can be lonely when other’s are sleeping. That’s one attribute of the community.


Pete, I had trouble sleeping, or would wake at 3am and found that the worse thing was thinking I have to sleep , I have to sleep, I have to sleep… which became even more stressful, so I then decided, OK, I’m awake, but I’m comfy, I’m warm, it’s dark, so I just lay there and pictured a warm sunny day, on a comfy soft sun lounger, the birds tweeting (as dawn was near anyway!!) every time my thoughts crashed that vision I just returned to it and found that quite quickly I returned to sleep. It took a weeks practice but now I can just switch into my ‘vision’ and I go to sleep . By the way decaf tea …YUK!!!

Hi Jeannie, sounds a really helpful way of managing being awake and having “crashing thoughts”. Think I’ll take to my sun lounger next time…

Elise, I find two glasses of wine in the evening dulls the senses and ensures you sleep like a baby. Regards, Catherine

I have the iPod on for an hour to help me sleep. I always wake up several times through the night but fall asleep if I haven’t slept well for a few nights. On the occasions I can’t sleep I turn on the iPod again.

Praying for the terminally ill and their families tends to help too.

Hi all,

I find that it’s not just out of hours that you can feel lonely. You can be surrounded by loads of people and still feel lonely. I do much of the time, as not everyone isvan extrovert. Sometime, the mere act of getting something down can make all the difference. I use other forums, and its nice to know that there are others out there.

hi elsie
i am sitting her all alone in my bungalow since i loss my husband nearly three years ago.I hate my life i feel so lonely.I just wish he was her to talk life seems so empty and pointless.Am i the only one who feels this way ?

I cannot sleepat night and my husband died 11 months ago. I even changed my work schedule so that I work at night. Grief has altered my life forever.

No your not the only one that feels this way. I find the loneliness to be the hardest part of my grieving process. I was never meant to be alone and the empty house with no one to talk to and laugh with and discuss the day in brutal. The smell of my husband and his sweet touch I miss so much.

I can get to sleep easy but am awake at 2 o clock the way I think of it when I’m asleep I forget for a bit but I have hot chocolate and watch telly for an hour seems to work

I can see that people benefit by the support they are getting from this community. I have had no replies to my posts yet. The loneliness & isolation is so unbearable at times. It’s hard not to feel guilty if you’re around people & you feel really low. I was hoping a forumwould be a good idea for me