It is a difficult time for me and my family. I am new to this app and I am trying to find support to deal with my grief.

Welcome to our group of people who totally understand what you are going through. It’s often called the club which nobody wants to join. There are people on here who range from the recently bereaved, to those of us who have reached the end of our journeys. Just believe there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The best thing is to tell us what you are finding difficult , and your troubled thoughts.- we never ! Judge.

To be honest I dont know where to begin. So much has happened and it wasn’t easy dealing with his chronic illness for the past 10 years. We have been married for 37 years. Too many struggles building up to his death. Especially his denial.

Well, you’ve actually just begun. It’s still very early in your journey, I remember it well. Our minds are chaotic, far too much to organise, and all the while we have the emptiness, loneliness, anger etc etc. But rest assured “this too will pass”, although it’s difficult to see at this stage.

All we can do it grit our teeth while bit by bit, we find a way of coping. Eventually (not yet) you will be able to identify how you want your new life to be, and you’ll start to move in that direction.

These two years for me have been truly awful, but I’ve managed to get through it, but my new life is pretty good again, but different of course.

Keep posting! Are you getting support from friends and family?

I am taking day by day. My siblings are supporting me but iI was always the strong one so they assume I will be fine. When my parents passed away I was the strongest and kept it together. So now they think i am ok. I have a son and daughter who give me support but i can not download my feelings onto them as the are dealing with the own grief. Its so complicated. As for my husband’s siblings they have have been a nightmare. Everything was hard enough to cope with but they were cruel and gave me no support while he was ill and during his last moments. Even during his furneral they were so cold and heartless. This is so hard to talk about. My heart is broken.

So very sorry for your loss.

This is such a very very difficult time.

There so many aspects to deal both practical and emotional.

Some on here have very good support, some ok and some none at all.

People can surprise and disappoint us.

This is a supportive forum where people support and don’t judge.

Take care xx

“People can surprise and disappoint us”. Rosegarden’s comment sums it up perfectly.

Keep your true friends very close, don’t be brave and put on a stiff upper lip, because they are also grieving and want to share their grief with you. Talk and listen, talk and listen…

As for those who let you down, just consider letting them go, be selfish. Don’t allow toxic situations to continue.

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Thank you both for your support. Those wh o have hurt me, I will let go but I feel that I am not just dealing with the loss of my beloved husband but also the loss of his sisters. I love them so much and their behaviour was absolutely unexpected and unreasonable. They showed their true colours and were very distant during every moment of my heartache. I know i have to let go…I am trying.

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I agree they are toxic!

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Good morning,

I totally get it with how the sisters behaved.
Sadly, I too found out about a well hidden part of some of my husband’s siblings. It still hurts 15 weeks on. I am still shocked at their behaviour. I very, very rarely have any contact with any of them, some none at all. I will never forget.

Now, is the time to think about you.
Take the support from your family.

You can always write on here.
As you probably have seen, there is usually someone who has experienced what you have been through.

Sending you a big hug,

Rose xx