Supporting Mum

I am feeling so overwhelmed and worried about mum. I really don’t know what to do or how to cope. We lost dad 9 weeks ago. I went over today after work for tea and she was really upset and said she felt depressed. She has spent 2 weeks with my brother and his family but today is back home alone. My brother lives away. Privately for the last year I have been dealing with anxiety and low mood which has now developed into anxiety and depression. I don’t wish to share this with her as it would worry her. I am on medication and receiving counselling. I don’t know if this a natural stage of grief she is going through and things will improve or if I need to really be worried. Inside I am already worried and not knowing how to cope with it all.

Hello, you seem to be having a difficult time and then to lose your father will have compounded your personal problems. Yes your mum is going through this horrible thing called grieving and there’s no time limit on grieving so things may not change for sometime. You said she had been staying with your bother and now she is back home, empty house with no one to meet her and say welcome home, then a hug and kiss from her husband. It’s a desperate time when that one person you want isn’t there any more. Give her as much support as you are able but remember your own health. If things get worse it may help to see what her GP can do to help. It does take time because they will have been together a good number of years. Give her a big hug and keep telling her how much you love her and admire how well she is dealing with everything, no matter what. Take care of each other.S

Thank you for your thoughts. We are not a family that does big emotion, verbal or physical but we are always there for each other. I guess I just want reassurance that in time things will improve for her. They were married for 50 years and did everything together. My heart breaks for her. Within myself I am desperately sad and, overwhelmed and seeing no hope.