My child has lost their best friend in tragic circumstances and is angry and upset and confused. They are pushing me away and distracting by doing anything other than talk or cry right now. Only a young teen, hard to process as an adult, let alone a child. Don’t want to smoother, but don’t want to leave them alone.
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing what your child is going through. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of their best friend. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what they are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Winston’s Wish - for bereaved children and their families. 08088 020 021, http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
@DayByDay23 Hello Daybyday. I am sorry to hear of your child’s loss of their best friend. Death is the one thing we have in common with each other, but to lose someone when they were so young I think strikes differently.
I am a teacher/private tutor of 10 years - however, I am not a parent. So I cannot say I understand exactly because I do not.
Some of the young people I’ve taught over the years seemed to really value being (in their words) ‘treated/spoken to like an adult’. So your instinct to not smother them is good. What that looks like will vary depending on the child - as their parent, you are in the best place to determine what that might look like.
If you haven’t already, reminding the school of the close relationship between your child & their best friend will be really helpful. This will alert staff and teachers at the school to keep an eye on them and to better understand any changes in demeanour or behaviour.
I think you are doing really well already. It is not easy. Take care.