I don’t know where to start. My father was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of June 2016. He was given a year. My mother had a massive stroke middle of October 2016 and lasted for ten days. Dad is painfully thin now after contacting sepsis. As I work in the NHS I’ve had plenty of guidance as to services avaiable. Dealing with illness and death on a regular basis all feels too much at times. Not sure I’ve dealt with mam dying or dads imminent death . My husband has vascular dementia and is in care. I haven’t seen him since his birthday 1st April. My problem is I have no insentive to do anything, no drive. Going through the motions about sums it up.

Hi Trish, Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your mum, your dad’s cancer and your husband’s dementia - it sounds as though you have a huge amount on your plate and it is totally understandable that you are feeling swamped.

Do you have any support around you, such as other family members who can help out? Or any care in place to help look after your dad, so that you can get a some time to yourself sometimes?

You say that you have lost all your drive, and I wonder if you could be depressed? I would encourage you to talk to someone about what you are feeling, such as your GP.

I hope it’s helped a tiny bit to be able to get things off your chest here. We have lots of other users here who know what it’s like to lose a loved one, or to care for someone who is very ill. While you wait for replies, you may find it helpful to read and join in with some recent conversations between others who have lost parents, such as these: