Swimming around in my mind as i talk to Richard...

I am doing my early morning usual, talking and crying to God, to my Richard and telling Them both this is going to take its toll on me, I will probably get through all this, the solicitor business, then the moving process then i believe my body, my MS, my mental state will take its toll on me, the after effects will probably end this for me, I can just see it now, just as everything comes to its closure and i have moved to wherever it is i land up up moving too, my life too will come to its end, it is only time when all this will catch up with meā€¦I hop of course my life takes a turn for the better, yes that is not quite the right word as nothing is or will be " better " as Richard will not be waiting for me as and when i reach my new home, unless we are talking about " heaven " being my new-my next home, then maybe he will be the first to greet meā€¦Yes i would still like a life but at what costsā€¦the loss of anothers life, my Richards lifeā€¦ Just had to get this off my mindā€¦I know i have a new life, a new future ahead of me, not a future i am wanting of course, i want my previous futureā€¦our growing old together, well God had other plans that came out of the blue for the both of usā€¦

Jackieā€¦adding a cuddle to all our bereavedā€¦((( hugs )))