You don’t have to let your wife’s ashes go if you don’t want to… sounded like you were putting pressure on yourself by saying you ‘need to’. Keep them for as long as you want. I still have my husband’s on the table, it will be 2 years for me in Nov. I plan for our ashes to be scattered together when my time comes…but as I’m only 52 hopefully that won’t be for a while yet… but as we all know on this site who knows what life might through at you.
Yeh i seen the scatter tube online … look nice. But my husband ashes in a lovely bag funeral director put them in so probably will leave them there for now … i like them being near me and they not going anywhere until im ready !!! He loved his home i was speaking to a guy who lost his partner and he said it took him 9 years befire he finally scattered her ashes in the sea … we will know when the time is right ; ) xx
I too have my husbands ashes. I’ve got no intention for them to go anywhere. He’s with me where he belongs. I’ve told the kids to ‘chuck’ us together somewhere when I go! J x
Yeh its comforting having them near isnt it ? I just realised that i am taking the puppy on the same walk as my husband went with our dog (who i had to put to sleep ) must be a comfort type thing i didnt even think about it until today xxx
I like the fact that he is here when I come home. I think we follow patterns of behaviour that brings us some comfort and that is fine. I have thought about getting a rescue dog but don’t want to jump into anything too soon. I have on the list for bereavement counselling and hope this will help a bit. Hope you have a decent day and sending love. Xx
Wow! You made me cry! What a beautiful message of love, respect, admiration, of strength and such positivity. Acceptance of loss but the acknowledgement that your wife will always be in your heart and future, whatever that is for you.
I take my hat off to you, for being so honest and open. I too am in this place. Knowing I can have a positive future without letting my man go. He will always be there, in me, always.
Hi I have’nt posted in a while but i still read the posts
My husband passed away a year ago I had his ashes but on his Anniversary I decided to scatter his ashes in a place we both loved I hadn’t bee since he passed
Both my daughters came with me My eldest was driving and she always has her radio on
I had just sat in the car and right away the song which was played at our wedding 30 years ago came on… I can tell you that it took my breath away I feel that Bobby was definitely with me at that moment and i am so overwhelmed
I’ll never forget it or him but i feel that he is with me
I have also kept back a little of his ashes at home They bring me a little comfort
Thanks so much for your kind words. As you know, I’m sure, the hardest part of this can be gaining the confidence to accept your own judgement and feel that you’re doing the ‘right thing’, moving in the ‘right’ direction (whatever that might mean!), It’s always reassuring to have my experience and thoughts recognised by someone who has chosen a similar path in all of this. We can choose to lie down and let this define us or we can choose to face it, learn from it and so define ourselves. It’s a hard and complicated path full of self doubt and most of all self reflection, but for me it seems to be producing results, an acceptance of this new normal and a willingness to make what I can of it, to go on for my wife but to go on in a way she would have recognized and seen part of Us in. I feel I may have reached that place but as I’ve learned in the past year only time will really tell. I still expect set backs, bad and terrible days will definitely lie ahead but I feel ready to face that now, I feel that the worst may be over.
Many thanks for all of your posts and encouragement, they have helped me to where I am,
i was speaking to a guy who lost his partner and he said it took him 9 years befire he finally scattered her ashes in the sea … we will know when the time is right ; ) xx