My husband had stage 4 kidney cancer which was incurable. He was diagnosed when he was 34 year old which was a shock for us, but we had no choice but to deal with it due to all the appointments, scans, scan results, failed treatments etc. It came to a point where my husband had exhausted all available treatments and all we had left was palliative care for his advanced kidney cancer.
My husband met with the palliative care nurses on the hospital ward. The tone of discussion and subject matter (dying) scared him so much that he weed himself. It was very shocking to me because my husband had always been a strong man, always. Discussing dying made him feel frightened. At this point he was prescribed Lorazepam to deal with the anxiety/panic attacks which helped a little, but really did change his personality.
His preffered place of death was at home, so he was discharged home with support from our GP and the community palliative care nurses. At home he was prescribed long release morphine, oramorphe for break through pain and Lorazepam for his anxiety/panic attacks. After a few weeks he developed low oxygen saturations which resulted in him being admitted to hospital. There he was switched from oral medications and put on to a syringe driver. The 2 drugs prescribed was morphine and midazalom. Within a few hours of having the syringe driver fitted, all he could say was that he felt overdosed. Those few hours was actually quite disturbing for family and it continued until he passed away.
Ive read everywhere that syringe drivers don’t speed up the death process, but I cant help but feel that my husband quickly declined soon after being put on the syringe driver. Has anyone else been left feeling like this?
@traybroth So sorry to hear about your husband passing, it is nothing that anyone wants to experience. My wife passed from lung cancer around 14 months ago, she was on a lot of managed medication for her 9 months of palliative care. A lot of what you have described is familiar to me, what my wife went through, how she received medication, how I felt that afterwards there was something I could have done to make it better. My wife stayed at home for as long as she could, but in the end she couldn’t focus long enough to take Oramporph, I couldn’t arrange for a syringe driver as it was the weekend, she went into hospital, got the drugs that she needed to give her respite and shuffled off. I think, I know, that once she got that syringe driver and had a chance to see, she knew her time was up and decided to leave, no more pain, no more seeing me cry. I’ve read many times over the last 14 months that very often the person dies as soon as the loved one leaves the room, I really do think my wife wanted to do the same for me, make it as quick as possible. What’s to lose
@traybroth so sorry for your loss. Much of what you say is similar to my husband. After 3 years of all the treatment options he was told in January 2023 it was incurable and moved to palliative care. He was admitted to hospital in the March with a suspected infection. 5 weeks later he came home to die. Complete with 2 syringe drivers full of pain relief and sedatives. He went from walking around the ward to a week later not being able to eat, drink or communicate. He was very agitated and they just kept increasing the sedatives & pain relief. I still find it very traumatic not knowing how much he was aware. Was he trying to tell me something, was he in pain or was he unaware. I will never know. I hope I did the right thing and he knew he was loved so much. Take care.
@traybroth i am so sorry you lost your husband . The medications are only for pain and agitation . I am a nurse and these are only for symptom management my love not to near people to their death
@traybroth I am so sorry that you have lost your husband at such a young age. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly. He was 53 years old. He died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. My husband was working up to the day before. I got him down the doctor’s 3 weeks previously and they just started doing tests. I feel guilty for not noticing that he had lost weight and was ill.
@Nori recently lost her husband to kidney cancer and he was a young chap as well. She might be able to help you with your questions. Take care and big hugs xx
Here here love ,firstly so sorry for your loss ,i lost my husband 6 months ago to lung cancer ,i have the exact same thoughts as you regarding syringe drivers ,after sitting with several members of my family including my mam in 2012 and my husband on end of life ,as soon as the syringe driver was inserted they lasted a matter of hours ,i dare say it is probably to ensure the person at end of life is completely pain free but i really do believe that the syringe driver overdoses them x
I lost my partner to stage 4 colorectal cancer.
She ultimately died of hepatic encephalopathy - severe liver failure - as it had metastasised to her liver. The liver is encapsulated by Glisson capsule that has very little give and the inflammation from the tumour burden pushed the pain to the point that the dose of morphine was causing hallucinations and she was switched to oxycodone, which is 2x as strong mg for mg
I nursed her through end of life at home - most horrific experience imaginable - for 3 days.
She had a syringe driver inserted for oxycodone as soon as she was unable to take meds orally for 3 days of end of life and I/district nurse gave her additional doses when she appeared to be in distress
Long story short, my only concern at that point was she wasn’t in pain - she went into distress on last day and had to wait 15 minutes for district nurse to administer the additional dose - longest 15 minutes of my life
Once you have reached end of life stage, all that’s left is to ensure they are not in pain and transition peacefully - if there is such a thing. I felt that was my duty after everything she had endured.
I held her hand and asked her to squeeze if she was in any pain throughout last two days and she did a few times so I knew when the additional dose needed to be administered
Syringe driver is a necessity for that once you’ve passed the point of medicating orally and communication is limited/ceased
I agree about the syringe driver. My husband had one fitted on the Tuesday afternoon and 24 hours later, after bouts of being awake, agitation and ultimately peace, he died while holding my hand. 16 weeks ago today.
Sorry for your loss - end of life process is brutal
Stay strong 
My husband Matt had a syringe driver for the last week of his life as his brain tumour robbed him of the ability to swallow at the end so he couldnt take the drugs ie Midazolam and morphine he needed to stop the fits. It didn’t make him decline any quicker, 7 days of him having nothing to eat or drink was the most painful thing I’ve ever had to witness. I just put a pink sponge with water in his mouth lots so his mouth wasn’t dry.He was at home with us though and didn’t seem to be in pain.
@Sparklyklm im so sorry and I know it must be so painful for you . It’s a real fact that we don’t need to eat or drink near the end of life . Doing so releases the bodies natural pain control . You did perfectly right wetting his mouth . Please be kind to yourself you did everything for him . My sympathies to you
@Jol Thank you, my daughters and son and I did research that week and everything we read said even intravenous fluids can make things worse. The district nurses weren’t unkind but a 10 minute visit each day to top up the driver and no information from them didn’t help. Proper information should be really important at the end of someone’s life, Google was very helpful 
@Sparklyklm yes you are right the iv fluids go to the wrong parts and could increase fluids on the chest . I am a nurse you see and I have a lot of experience in these circumstances. Please look after yourself my love
Sorry for your loss, I experienced the same thing as you. My husband had well advanced lung cancer, he was at home the palliative care and district nurses only came to see him because I called them.
He passed away on the 19 of January 2025, I called the hospice that day around 1pm doctor came more or less at 3, so he said that my started his way to go and it could take between 10 hours to 3 days. So, after that he called Princess Alice hospice nurse and God knows what did he said. In the meantime my son went to collect some medication from the hospice, and when he reached home he “mama the nurse said that my dad is going to die tonight”. After that around 6 pm two district nurses came and gave him 3 injections in his leg. At 8 pm another 2 came to put the syringe driver in his arm. Omg after that in a short period if time my husband became so unwell, he started sweating cold, and very anxious. He was conscious all the time I asked are you cold or hot he said both. My son called the nurses that were just about 10 minutes from my house and they never came. 2 hours late he passed away. So, how someone is going to tell me that those drugs in the driver didn’t kill him. No one deserve to suffer such a horrible things on his final hours. Those drugs instead of sedate him had the opposite effect.
Hi im sorry the your loss and he was so young x.
My darling partner was admitted to the hospic on Sunday September the 21th he was able to talk and communicate with us, the dr. came and changed all that they put a pad underneath him fitted a catheter and set him up with the sirange driver after that he went completely unconscious and I watch his breathing changed and panicked and ran down the corridor for the nurse, she said it’s OK his just taking him final breaths!!, I as if it was something I saw every day, I nearly died myself from seeing him like that, but getting back to the subject yes I belive the sirange driver did speed up his death.
I was numb with grief we had been together 32 years. As I sat with his body saying my final goodbyes the dr. knocked on the door asking if I would like to donate his eyes for research the thoughts of my darlings eyes been taken from him made me feel physically sick 
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Long rant but it needs to come out someway…..
Omg I am so so sorry to hear this x.
My partner also had the sirange driver and without a doubt it finished him off.
The only good side of it was he died incredibly peacefully 
..
But yes the sirange driver definitely sped up the process…..
Im glad to hear this as I was worried because my darling partner Ron died but I must say very peacefully shortly after been fitted with the sirange driver..
Thank you for letting us know this…
Hi gosh think you’ve all answered my question kev my husband passed away 31st july 2023 at 68 his cancer was very agreesive he lasted 7 weeks from being diagnosed, he had a end off life driver and went with in two days …very quick but so peaceful in his sleep couldnt have asked for a more perfect end but I do think it made him go quicker but it was pain-free which is all he asked for
All take good care and try to be at peace
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My husband passed away 11 weeks ago. He had advanced pancreatic cancer which was diagnosed 8 weeks earlier. He was in a ward with 5 other people up until 3 days before he passed, when they found us a single room. They fitted the syringe driver and after a few hours he lost consciousness, then they fitted another line the other side of his stomach. They moved him every few hours and I would be outside the room crying as I could hear him obviously in pain, whilst 2 nurses chatted about their weekend plans. I don’t feel they were honest with me, they fobbed me off every time I asked about the medication they were giving him. They kept topping it up constantly. Don’t tell me it doesn’t speed up death because it does. I will never unsee the suffering he endured for the rest of my life. Nothing peaceful about any of the process. I have a friend who is a nurse in end of life care and she wouldn’t even be honest with me. The medical profession have a lot to learn about how they deal with relatives at end of life care.
My son was 25 when he was diagnosed with a very rare genetic melanoma. They told us that they would never have been able to stop it or treat it and it was just a very rare mutation where there has only ever been 70 cases worldwide.
It had spread to his brain and he had multiple tumours throughout his body with 50+ in the brain itself. They never actually told us the true amount as they said there were too many to count.
He had a massive seizure on 26th October and we were told then we were looking at a couple of weeks. We didn’t want him in a hospice as the seizure had given him the mind of a 4 year old and I did t want him to know why was going on even for a second.
We brought him home and the nurses from Christie’s came to see us. One nurse told us all we would need was midazelam as that will shut the brain off he if had another seizure.
He had 2 more and this wasn’t really working as he would wake up with tears steaming down his face because the pain was so intense. So we had the driver fitted .
After that , and many problems with the driver, he never really responded anymore. He didn’t eat for the last 2 weeks and we were told the driver will keep him comfortable.
He did ask a few times what it was for and I lied and told him , it was to reduce his medication and he accepted that.
As time went on, the pressure in the brain caused more pain, so they had to increase the medication through the driver and he just slept with the occasional few words which we couldn’t understand.
On the day he died, he had the death rattle and the nurses gave him so medicine to stop the mucus , which helped, but they decided to give him more morphine to help?
Within a few hours of the morphine, he passed away.
It was peaceful and he died with his family with him.
The whole experience has been so traumatic that I don’t think I will ever forget that final 2 weeks of watching him slowly leave me.
I do believe the driver helped him with so much pain as I had seen him in pain before they fitted it, but I do believe that it also hastened his death.
My son was never going to get better from this and the eventually was he was going to die , but he died without pain and not knowing and that give me a tiny bit of comfort even though I feel like my world has ended.
Im crying uncontrollably whilst I write this , and this is the first time I have actually said anything about his last 2 weeks, so thank you for letting me write it down as it is too painful to speak about to anyone.