My husband had stage 4 kidney cancer which was incurable. He was diagnosed when he was 34 year old which was a shock for us, but we had no choice but to deal with it due to all the appointments, scans, scan results, failed treatments etc. It came to a point where my husband had exhausted all available treatments and all we had left was palliative care for his advanced kidney cancer.
My husband met with the palliative care nurses on the hospital ward. The tone of discussion and subject matter (dying) scared him so much that he weed himself. It was very shocking to me because my husband had always been a strong man, always. Discussing dying made him feel frightened. At this point he was prescribed Lorazepam to deal with the anxiety/panic attacks which helped a little, but really did change his personality.
His preffered place of death was at home, so he was discharged home with support from our GP and the community palliative care nurses. At home he was prescribed long release morphine, oramorphe for break through pain and Lorazepam for his anxiety/panic attacks. After a few weeks he developed low oxygen saturations which resulted in him being admitted to hospital. There he was switched from oral medications and put on to a syringe driver. The 2 drugs prescribed was morphine and midazalom. Within a few hours of having the syringe driver fitted, all he could say was that he felt overdosed. Those few hours was actually quite disturbing for family and it continued until he passed away.
Ive read everywhere that syringe drivers don’t speed up the death process, but I cant help but feel that my husband quickly declined soon after being put on the syringe driver. Has anyone else been left feeling like this?
@traybroth So sorry to hear about your husband passing, it is nothing that anyone wants to experience. My wife passed from lung cancer around 14 months ago, she was on a lot of managed medication for her 9 months of palliative care. A lot of what you have described is familiar to me, what my wife went through, how she received medication, how I felt that afterwards there was something I could have done to make it better. My wife stayed at home for as long as she could, but in the end she couldn’t focus long enough to take Oramporph, I couldn’t arrange for a syringe driver as it was the weekend, she went into hospital, got the drugs that she needed to give her respite and shuffled off. I think, I know, that once she got that syringe driver and had a chance to see, she knew her time was up and decided to leave, no more pain, no more seeing me cry. I’ve read many times over the last 14 months that very often the person dies as soon as the loved one leaves the room, I really do think my wife wanted to do the same for me, make it as quick as possible. What’s to lose
@traybroth so sorry for your loss. Much of what you say is similar to my husband. After 3 years of all the treatment options he was told in January 2023 it was incurable and moved to palliative care. He was admitted to hospital in the March with a suspected infection. 5 weeks later he came home to die. Complete with 2 syringe drivers full of pain relief and sedatives. He went from walking around the ward to a week later not being able to eat, drink or communicate. He was very agitated and they just kept increasing the sedatives & pain relief. I still find it very traumatic not knowing how much he was aware. Was he trying to tell me something, was he in pain or was he unaware. I will never know. I hope I did the right thing and he knew he was loved so much. Take care.
@traybroth i am so sorry you lost your husband . The medications are only for pain and agitation . I am a nurse and these are only for symptom management my love not to near people to their death
@traybroth I am so sorry that you have lost your husband at such a young age. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly. He was 53 years old. He died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. My husband was working up to the day before. I got him down the doctor’s 3 weeks previously and they just started doing tests. I feel guilty for not noticing that he had lost weight and was ill.
@Nori recently lost her husband to kidney cancer and he was a young chap as well. She might be able to help you with your questions. Take care and big hugs xx
Here here love ,firstly so sorry for your loss ,i lost my husband 6 months ago to lung cancer ,i have the exact same thoughts as you regarding syringe drivers ,after sitting with several members of my family including my mam in 2012 and my husband on end of life ,as soon as the syringe driver was inserted they lasted a matter of hours ,i dare say it is probably to ensure the person at end of life is completely pain free but i really do believe that the syringe driver overdoses them x
I lost my partner to stage 4 colorectal cancer.
She ultimately died of hepatic encephalopathy - severe liver failure - as it had metastasised to her liver. The liver is encapsulated by Glisson capsule that has very little give and the inflammation from the tumour burden pushed the pain to the point that the dose of morphine was causing hallucinations and she was switched to oxycodone, which is 2x as strong mg for mg
I nursed her through end of life at home - most horrific experience imaginable - for 3 days.
She had a syringe driver inserted for oxycodone as soon as she was unable to take meds orally for 3 days of end of life and I/district nurse gave her additional doses when she appeared to be in distress
Long story short, my only concern at that point was she wasn’t in pain - she went into distress on last day and had to wait 15 minutes for district nurse to administer the additional dose - longest 15 minutes of my life
Once you have reached end of life stage, all that’s left is to ensure they are not in pain and transition peacefully - if there is such a thing. I felt that was my duty after everything she had endured.
I held her hand and asked her to squeeze if she was in any pain throughout last two days and she did a few times so I knew when the additional dose needed to be administered
Syringe driver is a necessity for that once you’ve passed the point of medicating orally and communication is limited/ceased
I agree about the syringe driver. My husband had one fitted on the Tuesday afternoon and 24 hours later, after bouts of being awake, agitation and ultimately peace, he died while holding my hand. 16 weeks ago today.
Sorry for your loss - end of life process is brutal
Stay strong 
My husband Matt had a syringe driver for the last week of his life as his brain tumour robbed him of the ability to swallow at the end so he couldnt take the drugs ie Midazolam and morphine he needed to stop the fits. It didn’t make him decline any quicker, 7 days of him having nothing to eat or drink was the most painful thing I’ve ever had to witness. I just put a pink sponge with water in his mouth lots so his mouth wasn’t dry.He was at home with us though and didn’t seem to be in pain.
@Sparklyklm im so sorry and I know it must be so painful for you . It’s a real fact that we don’t need to eat or drink near the end of life . Doing so releases the bodies natural pain control . You did perfectly right wetting his mouth . Please be kind to yourself you did everything for him . My sympathies to you
@Jol Thank you, my daughters and son and I did research that week and everything we read said even intravenous fluids can make things worse. The district nurses weren’t unkind but a 10 minute visit each day to top up the driver and no information from them didn’t help. Proper information should be really important at the end of someone’s life, Google was very helpful 
@Sparklyklm yes you are right the iv fluids go to the wrong parts and could increase fluids on the chest . I am a nurse you see and I have a lot of experience in these circumstances. Please look after yourself my love