Thank you for the reply. I’m so sad to read your post, what a truly terrible experience for you to go through with your dear son. And to lose him at such a young age is devastating. The awful experiences we had to go through at end of life with our loved ones will stay with us forever. I know it clouds my grief and adds to it. I just find it very hard to deal with it all. Please take care of yourself, grieving the loss is a tough road to be on. I know I’ll never be the same again. Hugs to you x
Thanks Peg2 for the reply.
You are of course right that the trauma in our loved ones last few days/ weeks will stay with us forever.
I relive those moments over and over in my head and even though at the time , I knew what was going to happen, it didn’t make it any easier.
It’s like the adrenaline takes over whilst they are on their final days and that is what kept me going. In between the absolute horrific meltdowns when I managed to find some time alone to trying to accept what was happening in the mistaken belief that because I had had the anticipatory grief beforehand ( I had known for a while he wasn’t going to survive) that his passing would be easier. I was completely and utterly wrong and it’s those few weeks that keep me awake at night.
I don’t think we ever get over the trauma of what we have seen at the end with our loved ones and the grief after their passing is just beyond any words. I fact I don’t believe there is a word powerful enough to convey the feeling of total and utter devastation.
Im so sorry for your loss and everything You have been through with your beloved husband and I hope in time for both of us, the memories of those awful times will fade and be replaced by beautiful ones.
For me, I think that will take a long time, but Im trying everyday
Hugs back to you xx
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