Taking a trip

Thought I would go away this weekend to my wife’s twin sister 4 hrs away to see if I could find some comfort as they where close but its still so upsetting its only been 5 weeks since I lost her but nothing is helping ill go home in the morning think I need to see a doctor can anyone give me some advice am I doing g OK or not its so painful any words of comfort please,


It’s really good you made the journey but if you aren’t feeling like staying don’t. You need to do what’s right for you so if you want to go home then go. But I would talk to your sister in law about how you are feeling.

Just can’t understand why everyone is coping my me .

It might be people’s aren’t coping but just not let you see it. Are you telling people you aren’t coping?

It might be that you were the closest person to her so course your grief will be more intense.

It’s such early days nothing you do will make it any better at the moment, all you can do is try to eat properly and sleep as much as you can, I found I grew stronger the more time passed and more able to cope emotionally, even if the death is expected it’s still a total shock and that takes time for our brains to process & come to terms with it.

I found bereavement group support at the local hospice helpful & if you want to visit the GP then go, it won’t do any harm.

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1954 Ron 5 weeks is absolutely no time at all .Its far too early to think you should be coping.At least you did make an effort to go out and yes you want to be home to be nearer your loved one.From a personal point of view other than give you a mild sedative I don’t really know what help a Doctor can be its such a short time since your wife passed.You are grieving and grief can be a life long process that will always be there.But hopefully we can learn to cope with the loss and carry on
It’s so hard debilitating sad and lonely.I wish you well xx

Hi Ron
I’m afraid I agree with Marge. 5 weeks is no time at all to be grieving and having to adapt to a different life and nothing will seem to help when your loss is so raw. Stop trying to rush yourself through this. Go easy on yourself, take each day and above all give yourself time to grieve.
Time doesn’t necessarily heal but it does teach us how to cope and control it.
What do you expect a GP to do. There is no magic pill to take away grief. Medication might sedate you but could become addictive and won’t stop it. Taking care of yourself is important.


It has been four months for me since my husband died. I went to the coast for a break and saw happy couples taking a stroll along the prom. I felt so resentful and I hated them which is not like me at all.
Back home I completely gave in to my grief and have cried and howled and stayed in bed a lot. My grief is by no means at an end now, but I feel calmer and a little more accepting that this is my life. I hug myself when the pain is at its worst. I just thought that my experience might help a bit.

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Thankyou so much for your kind words I am trying to rush things I have got to grieve send hugs

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Thanks for your kind words I know what your saying is true like you know its so hard send hugs

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Hello. This new world of grief feels very alien. I lost my husband 6 weeks ago today. It’s been a whirlwind of admin banks and forms since then. Mike took poorly whilst we were in our favourite holiday place and we had to fly back to UK quickly. Less than 2 weeks later he died. I’ve been in shock ever since. One thing I have done though is go back to our favourite place on my own to lay some ghosts. M told me to live life for us both, he was very pragmatic and made me quite independent over the 30+ years we had together. It’s been hard but it’s done and I’m so glad I did it. Every day is a new day and I do my best to face it full on. Yes I have breakdowns though I prefer to call them wobbles. I sob my heart out for a while. I know he would not want me to suffer, he’d be saying to me to got on with life and live it the best you can. I’m trying but it’s very hard. I did have a chat to my doctor as I needed a prescription review and she said that grief and shock take time. They don’t offer bereavement counselling until three months have gone as my head is so full of stuff trying to cope that it is yet another thing to contend with.
Grief is extremely personal but I cope by thinking what would Mike do if the boot was in the other foot. I certainly wouldn’t want him to be struggling and to get out and live for us both. It’s so hard but you will get through this. I’m told you never get over the loss but it does get easier to live with it. Take care and look after yourself you can do this

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Grief never ends but it changes.
It’s a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
Nor a lack of faith.
It is the price of love…

I was reminded of this by @jomar from a thread of old and thought it fitting to this thread.


Further to my last post, having a really tough time as Christmas approaches. The loneliness I feel is awful.

Tansy totally understand how you feel .My first Christmas without my son my only child.I am a widow of 11 years.On my own for first time ever.I have wonderful siblings who have invited me but I don’t want to put a downer on their celebrations so spending it at home with memories of my men.Not been eating great so hoping that appetite will come back will have chocs few gins and cry as long as I feel the need.Take care my love xxxx

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