Taking it day by day

I lost my husband 31/1/2024 but still expect to find him sitting there when i walk in. It seems so surreal that after fighing Lung Cancer for 2 yrs to discover he had got pancreatic cancer which took him within 4months so unfair.


Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer on 4 January 2024. It was so quick that we hadn’t even processed the fact that he had cancer, and he was gone. His car is still outside, and i come home and for a second expect him to be there! You can only take it one day at a time. Dont let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not ready for.


Mandy D
That is so unfair. I feel your loneliness many people in this group will understand to.
Keep posting.

Lost my partner to brain cancer on 2nd December 23 . He only got diagnosed in September all very quick my life will never be the same again. I looked after him at home everyday until he passed x

Debbie 1966
I too nursed my husband at home we had five weeks when his treatment was stopped . He was 58yrs of age. I miss him so much .
How are you in your house since his death?

At first I hated going into the living room no hospital bed anymore. As time has gone by I’ve adjusted to it. I live my house and my garden. My bedroom is where I keep his ashes and our photos. My daughter also did a mould of our hands together which was beautiful :heart:

For now I’ve stopped calling it home it’s a house.

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My husband requested to go into hospice which was hard but turns out it was best place for him, his pallative nurse agreed as was really no room for a hospital bed at home. I practically lived at the hospice with him and was by his side when he passed.

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My condolences for you loss I lost my wife in November I feel destroyed I have signed off sick can’t see myself getting back to work feeling lonely isolated trying to get through this pain I hope you gain your strength in time bless you

Sorry for your loss, know your pain and feeling of isolation. I have my family near but its the nights that get to me, still expect to see him sitting there. Am signed off too as cant face work atm

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It is hard and some days better than others after 15 months. I feel the weight of things even more now I seem to have run out of steam. Yesterday I went on the bus but it felt really lonely walking around in the cold on a Sunday. I coped with practicalities but the emptiness sits on me. But last year it was hard even to go on the bus but I had a car then but found it challenging to use it with car parking.
I am waiting to hear if if is ok as it had to be taken away as I got caught in floods and potholes. I am going to a group in person today I have not been to since before the pandemic. I do not feel like going really but it is the last chance before it looks like packing up. I am having to rely on someone giving me a lift. I feel nervous and fear I will start crying when I get there which I did not do when I was just at someones house but the minute they starting putting pressure on me to make decisions I hate it as I have no idea any more. I have made my packed lunch which is the new way of doing it. I have to try to see if I can make myself look ok now even though I do not feel like it. I have loads to do in the house and only got a quarter of it done.

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Hi I know I am home alone and I’ve had to put her ashes and photos away as I can’t cope they have offered me CBT but there’s a waiting list I hope you can get something like that too stay strong thinking about you eat and try and take care of yourself

I am so sorry for what you Going through I feel that pain it’s being on my own that affects me I’ve done everything in the house that I can do me and my wife was getting a cottage and made big plans and she passed before the papers went through for the cottage life is unfair I used to operate heavy machinery I can’t no longer do that work as my mental heath has got bad I did CPR on my wife because I thought I could bring her back until ambulance came over 20 mins I had a call it’s 4/6 months for therapy I’ll try and hang in there but sometimes I feel what’s the point of being here life is unfair

Well my landline was reconnected when I got home with a message to say the Talking Space CBT was activated and I was to be contacted.
Also that my car was ready. I went to the group after a confusion of being picked up. It was ok until I was asked to make a decision and just said I couldn’t make them. Got funny looks again but just glad didn’t cry. Some of it started to wash over my head. But I remember I had this sort of thing when my baby and parents died all those years ago. So kind of dejavu. I thought there would be a longer wait for CBT but guess they have cancellations for counselling or try to make a fit between it all. I haven’t got much else done on my list apart from get a meal out of freezer which was glad I had batch cooked before. Felt too weary. Seem to get system upset with anxiety of coping.

Hi hang in there I am sorry to hear all you been through it’s tough I know what you mean when going out this does feel strange it like I am not in reality I’ve been told to go to the park or drive somewhere I want to go on a road trip but don’t think I could do it on my own a buyer for my wife car is coming tmnrw that’s gonna be hard seeing that go although I have my own I get weak then strong then weak again I just live for every day now whatever it brings stay as strong as you can I have to wait for cbt hope it helps

Yes it is like a roller coaster up and down. One minute I look in the mirror and see this depressing look and think of my mother who used to say perk yourself up and make best of yourself. So I went into Boots to see what I could find.
Stick some moisturiser on; brush hair; put banana or avocado skin on my face to wake me up. Well eat it and use it as a free wake up.
Cucumber on your eyes etc.
Well can try.


I’m trying to do that too. I was so depressed looking at my sad grey face in the mirror, so I decided to at least try a bit of moisturiser, get my haircut and a spritz of perfume. I don’t feel any less sad but I don’t look quite so terrifying in the mirror! Small wins I guess


Yeh great idea. Makes you feel tons better xx

Sorry for your loss ,i lost my my husband to pancreatic cancer and lung cancer. so i know how are feeling .My thoughts are with you at this sad time

Well what was odd was when I finally plucked up courage to return to chapel 60 strong shared lunch I had been avoiding and agonising how to fit in without looking terrible I overdid it.
Got people saying about it when I really wanted to blend.
But hard to get it right after being out of it.
Sat on own to start with and likewise other widows or divorced sat on my table. Avoided the family tables sitting on the end.
Well I kinda enjoyed it as and afterwards missed my husband being there like before.
So was told if makeup does it do it.
Was trying to steam some clothes but haven’t got knack yet.