talking about loss loved ones not allowed

it is funny as most older adults have lost significant people in their lives. yet I just wanted to say that we are not allowed to talk about the dead.

I think the Mexicans do themselves a favor by having their Dia de los Muertos, because it is a day every year solely to honor beloved people who are gone.

but even at the holidays, when the loved ones are most profoundly missed, we are not allowed to bring them up.

I am not sure why there is such a reaction. but it is a funny thing about people. they just don’t want to hear about it. I honor that and don’t bring up my parents whom I miss sorely … but I am just curious about the psychology at play.

anyway, this is a great place because it allows people to talk about their missed loved ones, as society kind of forbids it.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I regular talk about Mum who I lost earlier this year. My Dad and I talk about what she’d be saying if she was in the room with us at various points of conversation and things she said and did. It’s our way of keeping her memory alive and works for us. People get embarrassed when I talk about Mum but those close understand why I do it and join in. Do what works for you. If people don’t like it, they’re the wrong people to be hanging round with at a time like this in your life.

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Hi Berit

Debpeb is spot on. Talk as much as you need to about your parents :slight_smile: If people don’t want to listen, move on to people who so.

I’m fascinated too by how the Mexicans celebrate their dead relatives. I lost both my parents within a year and I think and talk about them constantly. If friends are not here for us when we need them, maybe they were not such good friends after all.

This forum is so good for saying what is on your mind.

Love to you both

Ann x

Hi yes I talk daily about my hubby,he passed in March this year,he was 59,his daughters talk about him everyday too,i understand what you mean beret,as I can talk a lot with my family,but other people just talk about general everyday things,when I see them,its like they have a fear of it,that its contagious or something,i just don’t understand as death is one thing the whole human population has in common,anyway im proud to talk about my passed loved ones,and I will carry on doing so,they deserve to be remembered,sorry if I sound like im ranting,i agree im so pleased I found this site,and hugs to all x

Hi Berit,

I think it’s healthy to a degree to feel free to talk about our loved ones. However I encounter most people can’t handle it and tend to push the ‘moving forward’ part and it’s quickly, as in months.

I like to concept of always feeling a connection and still speaking to my dad. I can’t speak to my family about my dad, they are too busy being dysfunctional.

I think a few cultures/religions have designated times that remember those who have passed although day of the dead is one of them. Why shouldn’t we think about them and spend time.