Your son sounds wonderful and very much like my nephew Dan who also died last December at 32.
His funeral was standing room only and all his friends and colleagues (he was a teacher) spoke of his kindness, that he walked the path less travelled, he was always up for an adventure, always had time to squeeze a run or cycle in (even when he didn’t) and made them laugh with his antics……….we never had the chance to chat about the school trip he’d just been on, or eat the roast potatoes that I actually got crispy enough, and I didn’t know that was the last hug 
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Big hugs to you.
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Sending love to you Ronnie xx
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Ronnie4 I hope today is a bit easier. Ive had a difficult weekend as well. I think now that its December and Xmas is everywhere, we feel our loss more. I feel like a little girl again sometimes, I just want my Dad to wrap me up in his arms and make me feel safe like he used to.
You’re not alone, and we all feel your pain. Sending you so much love 
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What a lovely idea my dad was a bus driver for 35 years and he was my hero he was generous and loving and a great grandparent to all his grandchildren, my mum worked in my primary school aa a cleaner then went into a care home to work and i ended up working along side her which i will always cherish the memories. Just dound out my youngest daughter is due a baby in june makes me sad they won’t get to meet them x
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thankyou Lynnbug, today has been a bit better, though i woke up crying, ive taken it easy, done clearing up slowly but still feel down. Its the time of year, doung things we always did together, anything is making me cry, i cant see next year being any better, as once new year is iver its coming to Feb when he died, his birthday in March and what would have been our 29th anniversary April, its all so close together . Thanks to you all here Ill get through it. x. Sending everyone hugs x
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Ronnie, I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough day. This time of year it feels very strange with everyone else celebrating and feeling festive. Sending hugs, we’re in a horrible club we never ever wanted to be in xxx
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My son was tall and very handsome. He could play keyboard and guitar and wrote and recorded his own music and also played in a band. He was kind and caring. Girls loved him, his friends loved him.
He would phone me up and ask if anything needed doing, or invite me over for fish and chips and a movie. He was my tech support and incredibly talented in web design.
His self esteem was rock bottom. He thought he was a total failure. He had suffered from mental health issues for a long time but was getting his life together and had recently got a job managing an international team of web developers working with UEFA,
His boss over promoted him, he couldnt cope with the stress. He packed up work without telling us - we didnt know because he worked from home. He lived off his savings until they were all gone. He maxed his overdraft and his credit cards.
Then he took his own life.
How can someone with so much going for them, so many positives, feel so badly about themselves?
He was a really special person.
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I’m so sorry , my son also was very hard on himself, thinking he should have done more with his life, in spite of only being in his 20s.
It is just so hard to bear, I wish it was me who had died, not my beautiful boy
Thinking of all of you, it’s so hard, especially when life seems to go on for everyone else xxxx
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Hi Ally, I too lost my dad on 30/9/24. It happened so fast. Died from Prostate Cancer but had a recent diagnosis of late onset mixed Dementia whilst in hospital. I was with him every day for 10 weeks watching him die in pain in hospital, as there was no place for him in a Nursing home or Hospice. I had a crash course in dealing with all that Dementia had dealt us and the daily battle of dealing with Doctors/Nurses/Consultants. I can’t sleep, feel guilty I didn’t do enough to help him. Cry almost daily and feel guilty about that. Just want Christmas to go away but have family and Grandchildren, so life goes on and the face says I’m ok but inside I am not. The paperwork is overwhelming and not sure how much more I can take on. I haven’t said this to anyone, just needed to write it down.
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Abi - I can feel how much you loved your son through every word. I’m so very sorry; he sounds amazing and I feel I’ve missed out by not knowing him too
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Thank you, too many amazing people lost to mental health problems
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Hi Lovely
I am so so sorry for your loss and I hope and pray you get through this .
I lost my dear father two weeks ago and I feel so alone I do have siblings but they getting on with their lives I just can’t process what has happened.
Try stay strong easily said than done I know reality is everyone is getting on with things day to day life and it is us who is grieving 
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My hubby Kieron was a hgv 1 driver. He was kind, caring quiet man. If he had nothing to say, he didn’t say it.
We had a good marriage. Didn’t argue. Laughed a lot.
He was there with me when I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and Epilepsy.
He kept me going.
When he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer we still laughed and joked, right up to the end.
He loved his daughter, grand daughters and was proud of them both, when they each gave him a great grandson.
He is sorely missed and always will be
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Dementia is a terrible illness, both my parents had it, and it really affected their quality of life.
I’m so sorry you have had such a sudden loss, difficult to cope with and I hope you have lots of kind friends around you for support xxxx
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Gosh reading some of these posts reminds me how I was nearly in the same boat. My son tried three times unsuccessfully twenty years ago.
I worry about him all the time.
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I worried about my son for 10 yrs. Its awful, I am so sorry you are in that situation.
James had made plans to end his life, but eventually he started an online social group for some other people he met on a suicide forum, where they could chat and watch films together… I’m still in touch with one of his friends from the group.
His post mortem results show he had heroin in his system, but borderline levels, but he also had emphysema, which was a shock. I don’t think he planned to end his life because he’d booked a shift for work the day afterwards, he was planning Christmas and he told me his mental health was ok.
He was such a lovely young man, I can’t describe how much I miss him.
If you’re in the UK SOBS might be a group that can help. I was going with James because his girlfriend took her own life July 23, she was studying in America so we weren’t aware of how much she was struggling. SOBS is a safe place to share, like this xxx
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I do have good family and friends but I’m afraid with my current low mood, they are beginning to find it difficult to speak to me because they worry about upsetting me. I don’t talk as I don’t want to bring them down to my level and so it starts. Everyone asks how are you doing but I can not answer them truthfully. Only fleetingly did I think to myself that there was only one way to make it all go away but I know I would not go there but it scared me to even have that thought. I just need to get past probate and the endless paperwork and hopefully I can move forward
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